The sting of damaged friendship as the consequence of desperation

[Xero_Snake]

It is okay to go to do what you like and hanging around with people in any way you wish, be it trying to be casual and funny just to exercise your social skills. However, there actually is a consequence for doing that. Especially when you were struck by some things that you couldn't accept or deal with it in life out with desperation. But you would never feel the gravity of consequences by a push of button without feeling the sting of damaged friendship that you've brought upon yourself - a shot to your own knee. Twice. I learned this the hard way, again. Now I know the pain of harming both the people around me and my own reputation in the state of denial and desperation, and I'm reminded of it again.

 

Previously, I was told to "please know what I'm doing by having more self-conscience" by a friend of mine because of my state of denial back then and I was told to find out the reason by myself. And now it struck back again, but through the sense of desperation. Now I understand, if one couldn't tranquil the monster in oneself, bad things can happen. I also learned that I'm actually not funny. My sense of humor is terrible that it isn't worth a chuckle. Trying to act like it just to act casual and easy-going don't work that way, the pain will never go away and it makes a man hideous, inside and out.

 

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. I really didn't want that to happen. I didn't want that. I would leave some spaces and time to sort things out. I might not be forgiven, but even so... Without compromise, I don't know what needs to done to repair the damage done.

[DasBootcamp]

What?

[B4lduR_28]

What?

 

[Sturg303]

What is this I don't even....

[khaenn35]

Xero, I know what you mean. I've done this too. It hurts me every time, but I try to improve and not repeat it. But sometimes, being out of the norm is 100% fine. Just live with it, adapt to it, you will succeed. I am undergoing that stage too, and it is all the worse with one of my best and my most trusted friend leaving my side. Live through it, hold on.

 

[Xero_Snake]

Xero, I know what you mean. I've done this too. It hurts me every time, but I try to improve and not repeat it. But sometimes, being out of the norm is 100% fine. Just live with it, adapt to it, you will succeed. I am undergoing that stage too, and it is all the worse with one of my best and my most trusted friend leaving my side. Live through it, hold on.

 

I'm also told that it's difficult to recover if I slipped. Sometimes, trying to be connected with people can be challenging, especially when trying to cope and deal with my own challenges that sometimes could cloud my conscience.

 

Anyway, thanks. I'm still learning. I understood a bit of psychology not too long ago, and I got the idea of how it feels like when I was never being social back in elementary and high school both and didn't learn the consequences of damage done.

[Battleship_60]

I try not to repeat doing this but I do it even without myself knowing... I made a bad image for myself in life along with people close to me...

[Xero_Snake]

I try not to repeat doing this but I do it even without myself knowing... I made a bad image for myself in life along with people close to me...

 

It happened to me a few occasion, with a clouded mind.

 

Instead of trying to find an answer... letting go and move on is what people usually prefer. "The less we know, the better" may seems fitting.

 

I can pretend everything is okay like nothing happened if I want to. But still, everything is not always okay when came with few scars.

[Sorys]

um what am i reading? is this a personal thing mate? cause if it is these are a few things that I've come to learn about life and its problems.
- learn to laugh at yourself. trust me on this taking everything to seriously hurts you more than it hurts the person who said it
- see the positives in things. Using world of warships as an example. You lose a game but you did the best you could and got some nice xp out it well done
- you are allowed to show emotion. You dont need to a tough guy/girl/person who is impenetrable to insults or can hold you life together all the time. Its okay to cry
- go out in life to make other peoples lives better than your own. With that mindset you will be surprised with the people you meet and the friends you make
- find what you love. this takes a while but when you find it dont ever let go. Even if you are busy with other things make sure you make time for what makes you happy.
I hope this helps with anything you are going through mate. And though we have a few salty sea dogs amongst us we are still a community that is willing to support other. Hold your head up mate

[pmgaudio]

[DoomStomper]

Drinks are on me, Xero.  Sounds like you could use some right about now... 

[Xero_Snake]

um what am i reading? is this a personal thing mate? cause if it is these are a few things that I've come to learn about life and its problems.

- learn to laugh at yourself. trust me on this taking everything to seriously hurts you more than it hurts the person who said it

- see the positives in things. Using world of warships as an example. You lose a game but you did the best you could and got some nice xp out it well done

- you are allowed to show emotion. You dont need to a tough guy/girl/person who is impenetrable to insults or can hold you life together all the time. Its okay to cry

- go out in life to make other peoples lives better than your own. With that mindset you will be surprised with the people you meet and the friends you make

- find what you love. this takes a while but when you find it dont ever let go. Even if you are busy with other things make sure you make time for what makes you happy.

I hope this helps with anything you are going through mate. And though we have a few salty sea dogs amongst us we are still a community that is willing to support other. Hold your head up mate

 

Thanks for your kind words, lad. Even though I do working on empowering mindful positivities and being empathetic to make a difference.

 

In fact, I used to be an upright no-nonsense kind of tough guy, and I don't want this to go on anymore. It don't benefit much for me anymore. Because of how I was grown up, I was driven by envy and desperation whenever I see peers and my friends have the strengths, quirks, skills, social status and successes in life I never have. Hence I'm motivated to make a future life better than I'm having right now. This and combine with my difficulty to cope with life stresses and my mood swings with anything emotional, I tend to doubt my own motives whenever I get overboard and when some things don't go the way I wished for. These can get my well being sway away.

 

Most of all, I'm aware that I actually have a form of psychological barrier left undiagnosed for too long. Which is this key factor that I got difficulties to tranquil my mental meltdowns.

[Xero_Snake]

Drinks are on me, Xero.  Sounds like you could use some right about now... 

 

I would get a can or a bottle later to drink away life problems that I made it personal...

[Oberarzt_U511]

 

The most succinct response I can see on this thread so far.

 

Also, it's completely fine to be completely relaxed and casual. I don't understand what you might exactly have done to cause one of your friendships to take a hit, but if it wasn't deliberately abrasive, "please know what I'm doing by having more self-conscience" is not exactly understanding on part of that friend of yours. Just explain what you meant in a clear, level-headed manner and listen to whatever he/she has to say in response. If that friend of yours still refuses to tell you what you seemingly did wrong, that person isn't high-quality friend material. 

 

When something bothers me (which seldom does outside of academic matters), I just pick up my textbook and 'spend' that temporary discomfort on my work (using it as something akin to motivation). Just find something you need to do but don't like doing, and turn that discomfort into temporary motivation. It's a highly effective way of getting things done, at least for me. 

 

 

[Jenska]

Not sure I've been exactly where you are, but there is help out there, you don't have to do this all by yourself. Seek it out and use it as much as necessary, you shouldn't have to tough it out on your own.

[Xero_Snake]

 

Also, it's completely fine to be completely relaxed and casual. I don't understand what you might exactly have done to cause one of your friendships to take a hit, but if it wasn't deliberately abrasive, "please know what I'm doing by having more self-conscience" is not exactly understanding on part of that friend of yours. Just explain what you meant in a clear, level-headed manner and listen to whatever he/she has to say in response. If that friend of yours still refuses to tell you what you seemingly did wrong, that person isn't high-quality friend material. 

 

When something bothers me (which seldom does outside of academic matters), I just pick up my textbook and 'spend' that temporary discomfort on my work (using it as something akin to motivation). Just find something you need to do but don't like doing, and turn that discomfort into temporary motivation. It's a highly effective way of getting things done, at least for me. 

 

 

The "please know what you're doing" part came from my real-life senior friend of mine two years ago. The recent one is the another, usually occupied with works most times, but has layers of personality like I do. Actually, this one is clearly my undoing, because I became a growing threat to that person with my "annoying curiosity". I shouldn't have crossed the line if I managed to tame my desperation. And that person is somehow my significant other.

 

Well, I can give your suggestion a try, thanks.

 

Not sure I've been exactly where you are, but there is help out there, you don't have to do this all by yourself. Seek it out and use it as much as necessary, you shouldn't have to tough it out on your own.

 

Masquerading as a tough guy ultimately make things worse than better, lesson learned.

 

Thanks. I eventually make this out is not because of sign of shame and weakness, but rather the sign of being strong in passing behavior for too long when I hit the bottom.

[80_proof]

So I'm guessing this thread is one of those North Korean coded spy broadcasts? Has to be...

 

 

http://www.popularmechanics.com/military/weapons/news/a21936/north-korea-coded-radio-messages/

[TTK_Aegis]

I don't mean to make light of this because it sounds like you're going through some serious stuff (even though I don't really understand what that is) and for that you have my sympathy. ...now that said, if you read the original post as someone expressing grief for accidentally torpedoing an ally out of careless behavior, it works for that too.

 

World of Warships = allegory for life? 

[Xero_Snake]

Alright, I'm currently a little drunk now.

 

You see, that happened in times when my hands were full of things to take responsibility and had it rough and tough in life, didn't have the right time to take a breath and tend to lose sight of focus.

[Mezurashi]

We go through all sorts of things... It's just sad that people tend to overlook what's going on beneath. This is one reason why I've learned to carry a fake smile.

 

[Xero_Snake]

We go through all sorts of things... It's just sad that people tend to overlook what's going on beneath. This is one reason why I've learned to carry a fake smile.

 

 

I happens all the time, everyone do.

 

"Y u so serious? Chill lah, bro. Relax and take it easy" I usually remind myself with this, for an uptight guy like me. People are permitted to swim with the flow, nobody tell anyone not to. But sometimes when overlooked something that left unchecked, people suddenly found themselves on the chopping block.