How Not To Battleship

[Drahkan]

 Names have been blurred to protect the idiotic. (And yes, I recognize that I was one of the first players to be destroyed this game...but it let me take these screenshots, so it was obviously for the better.)

 

 

 

 

There are so many lessons to be learned from this mindbogglingly ridiculous situation that I'm not even sure where to start.

[_Sarcasticat_]

I must've been doing it wrong this whole time. D:

[Fishrokk]

 

 

Was there beeping?

[BladedPheonix]

You know....this is probably the worst BB map in the  game. along with that, its also the only map where BBs always seem to go full [edited].

 

[TASK_FORCE_16]

Whats the problem here ... thats a perfectly normal roman testudo formation!! LOL

[OhnoesFroz]

You know....this is probably the worst BB map in the  game. along with that, its also the only map where BBs always seem to go full [edited].

 

I think this is a pretty good map for everyone except carriers, and I have all sorts of trouble feeling sympathy for carriers anyway.

 

Those battleships all herding into a spot where they're obstructing their own firing lines is a little baffling, though.

[BladedPheonix]

 

I think this is a pretty good map for everyone except carriers, and I have all sorts of trouble feeling sympathy for carriers anyway.

 

Those battleships all herding into a spot where they're obstructing their own firing lines is a little baffling, though.

 

Meh, I still think its a bad BB map, mostly cause there's just too ,many ambush points for DDs and torpedo equipped cruisers.

[Legendary_Typo]

Seems they're setting up a roadblock to stop criminals.

[Guest]

How does that even occur in the first place? ..Perhaps a enemy destroyer went by the warships? 

[Drahkan]

How does that even occur in the first place? ..Perhaps a enemy destroyer went by the warships? 

 

Yeah, look (closely) at the minimap: there's a known Mutsuki in the A cap area, and there were 2 more DD's east of the islands spotted shortly before I took these screenshots. I have no explanation for why FIVE ships, including THREE BATTLESHIPS, would all sail into the straits here, nor how they thought turning sideways into an island to dodge torpedoes was going to increase their lifespan any longer than just sailing at the DD's...but obviously we're not talking about brilliant strategists, here.

 

(OH - and notice that 2 of the BB's are North Carolina's, so it's not like they have the excuse of being noobs like the Tirpitz player might be. Like I said, I'm not even sure where to begin deciphering this situation...)

[barbeerian]

Ambush BB, the new meta.

[Drahkan]

I just went back over the replay but couldn't finagle the view angles and such to make recording/editing/posting to YouTube worth the time. Suffice to say, from what I can piece together it appears that those 2 enemy DD's appeared in front, popped smoke and launched torpedoes, at which time the BB's went in random directions into islands and such. After that - as I was bouncing between various teammates (I had died by then) - it looks like they just got stuck in the above-noted Austin Powers situation and couldn't figure out how to escape.

 

One thing that I truly don't understand, however: the rear North Carolina (that is, the farthest to the northwest) appears to have turned starboard into the island before any enemy torpedoes were even visible. 

[TASK_FORCE_16]

I just went back over the replay but couldn't finagle the view angles and such to make recording/editing/posting to YouTube worth the time. Suffice to say, from what I can piece together it appears that those 2 enemy DD's appeared in front, popped smoke and launched torpedoes, at which time the BB's went in random directions into islands and such. After that - as I was bouncing between various teammates (I had died by then) - it looks like they just got stuck in the above-noted Austin Powers situation and couldn't figure out how to escape.

 

One thing that I truly don't understand, however: the rear North Carolina (that is, the farthest to the northwest) appears to have turned starboard into the island before any enemy torpedoes were even visible. 

 

pre-cog?

[Scotty_SE]

Commentary from the enemy DD perspective must have been classic because I'm sure they were enjoying it. Looks like the boat ramp at my local over populated lake after friday nooners show up already half a case in the bag.

[Drahkan]

Commentary from the enemy DD perspective must have been classic because I'm sure they were enjoying it. Looks like the boat ramp at my local over populated lake after friday nooners show up already half a case in the bag.

 

If the enemy said anything, they didn't have the common decency to say it on the public channel, rightfully mocking my teammates...which makes the whole situation even more ridiculous, as missing an opportunity of this epic proportion never happens. 

 

On the flip-side, our team sure wasn't saying anything - except for me, which did nothing other than convince myself that I'd have escort heading towards B (...which, based on what happened, must have been interpreted by the NW spawn point as directed towards them) that ultimately resulted in me being the first (IIRC) person to die.

 

Alone.

 

While my team's battleships practiced parallel parking in the narrows.

 

As usual, I should know better than to try and coordinate team actions; I'm pretty sure that my win rate is inversely proportional to how much Pre-Death Team Chat I'm involved in.   (Which, if true, has apparently been more than usual for the last week or so. Le sigh.)

[JoeErving]

 

Yeah, look (closely) at the minimap: there's a known Mutsuki in the A cap area, and there were 2 more DD's east of the islands spotted shortly before I took these screenshots. I have no explanation for why FIVE ships, including THREE BATTLESHIPS, would all sail into the straits here, nor how they thought turning sideways into an island to dodge torpedoes was going to increase their lifespan any longer than just sailing at the DD's...but obviously we're not talking about brilliant strategists, here.

 

(OH - and notice that 2 of the BB's are North Carolina's, so it's not like they have the excuse of being noobs like the Tirpitz player might be. Like I said, I'm not even sure where to begin deciphering this situation...)

 

On your last comment, keep in mind just from searching forum posters I have ran across people in T10 ships with nothing better than over a thousand Murmansk, Minekaze, insert premium ship here, games and only a few hundred in anything else....

So they really might not know how to captain a BB lol

[Destroyer_Harusame]

Whats the problem here ... thats a perfectly normal roman testudo formation!! LOL

A formation to protect against projectiles, it's perfect!

[Elementalism]

Heh it happens. Ask me how many times while fighting on North in the left lower quadrant I manage to run into the one small island out there. Like a damn magnet for my ships.