Secret Revealed by the most AWESOME Noob ever!

[BatRastardly]

You heard that right, I am the best noob ever and I am going to share the secret the developers

                                 DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW!

You may think the key is sinking the other ships, earning XP, getting mondo hits and damage.

NOT SO! I never do those things. I leave my team in the dust from the get-go everytime and there

isn't a slot I haven't scooted down in my mighty DD. Yep, lone wolf it everytime and maybe my gameplay

sometimes lasts almost two minutes when I'm lucky, I ALWAYS END AT THE TOP OF THE TEAM SCOREBOARD.

 

At first I thought it was just a matter of innate awesomeness but I got to wondering as I rarely get a shot off

let alone hit anything before being blown out of the water by an unseen multitude. (you know who you are)

Anyways, I started thinking, no easy task mind you, and realised that it can't be my total lack of stategy, of

constant running up on those sneaky damn islands, or forgetting where the throttle and rudder thingees are.

No it can only be one thing ....... AUDACITY!            SHEER AUDACITY!!!!

 

Don't believe me? Just go ahead and try it. Next time you land in Two Brothers just rush up the center at full speed.

Or better yet, in Ocean let your loser teamates spot the biggest damn clump of cruisers and battleships and rush them.

I'am not too ashamed to admit that sometimes I close my eyes as it gets a little gory, but only briefly.

After you get blown to smithereens you can watch your poor misguided teamates try their strategy and work together

in the false hope of attaining that top spot on the leaderboard. Already taken, [edited]! heh,heh,heh.

 

After the game just go to the team score and click that little star once and boom! You are on the top.

I am EVERY TIME!!! I hate to gloat and get all smug and crapbut what can I say, I am one awesome Noob.

Figuring out that the developers secretly give you hidden points for audacity was brilliant and I have decided

to share because, well, get's kind of lonely at the top. I have been there long enough and it's time to let others

try.

 

I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go.

 

Sincere,

BatRastardly

[Misniso]

You heard that right, I am the best noob ever and I am going to share the secret the developers

                                 DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW!

You may think the key is sinking the other ships, earning XP, getting mondo hits and damage.

NOT SO! I never do those things. I leave my team in the dust from the get-go everytime and there

isn't a slot I haven't scooted down in my mighty DD. Yep, lone wolf it everytime and maybe my gameplay

sometimes lasts almost two minutes when I'm lucky, I ALWAYS END AT THE TOP OF THE TEAM SCOREBOARD.

 

At first I thought it was just a matter of innate awesomeness but I got to wondering as I rarely get a shot off

let alone hit anything before being blown out of the water by an unseen multitude. (you know who you are)

Anyways, I started thinking, no easy task mind you, and realised that it can't be my total lack of stategy, of

constant running up on those sneaky damn islands, or forgetting where the throttle and rudder thingees are.

No it can only be one thing ....... AUDACITY!            SHEER AUDACITY!!!!

 

Don't believe me? Just go ahead and try it. Next time you land in Two Brothers just rush up the center at full speed.

Or better yet, in Ocean let your loser teamates spot the biggest damn clump of cruisers and battleships and rush them.

I'am not too ashamed to admit that sometimes I close my eyes as it gets a little gory, but only briefly.

After you get blown to smithereens you can watch your poor misguided teamates try their strategy and work together

in the false hope of attaining that top spot on the leaderboard. Already taken, [edited]! heh,heh,heh.

 

After the game just go to the team score and click that little star once and boom! You are on the top.

I am EVERY TIME!!! I hate to gloat and get all smug and crapbut what can I say, I am one awesome Noob.

Figuring out that the developers secretly give you hidden points for audacity was brilliant and I have decided

to share because, well, get's kind of lonely at the top. I have been there long enough and it's time to let others

try.

 

I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go.

 

Sincere,

BatRastardly

 

 

Hey!  You're violating the secrecy agreement!  We had a promise!

[The_GoDDfather]

I like how [edited]and [edited]are censored, but bastard isn't XD

[sushimaster]

Lol that post is gold OP, well played, freaking well played.

[Legendary_Typo]

There's just so many wrong things about this post... I can't even...

 

First there's this talk about "Doctors hate him, find out how this guy lost weight instantly" beginning, then you go on an adventure about how damage is useless, then you seem to say your teams are horrible, there's also the fact you only have battles in the Murmansk and Nicholas, and skipped everything else, and then you end it with "I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go."

[BatRastardly]

I forgot to give credit to the fine YouTubers I avidly watched and then promptly ignored.

If I hadn't I never would have figured out the secret audacity scoring system. Hell, I probably

would have ended somewhere near the bottom every time!

 

So thanks at least for trying to Rear Admiral Jingles, BaronVonGamez,PhlyDaily,NoZoupForYou, Irion Hidex,

and many others. Great info, honest, and it isn't your fault you missed the obvious most important tip.

That's why they called it a secret.

 

Bat

[Detonator53]

Hmm... let me get this straight, you click on the little star one time only, only 1 click ... and you're at the top of the list.....

 Sounds to me like you have the list sorted from Low to High... that would certainly put you at the top

 

[MexicanPanda]

That's a good one. It made me chuckle.

[BlazerSparta]

There's just so many wrong things about this post... I can't even...

 

First there's this talk about "Doctors hate him, find out how this guy lost weight instantly" beginning, then you go on an adventure about how damage is useless, then you seem to say your teams are horrible, there's also the fact you only have battles in the Murmansk and Nicholas, and skipped everything else, and then you end it with "I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go."

 

Not sure if trolling more...or serious.

[RedSeaBear]

Ok this is troubling a click bait head line writer is playing WoWs. But I think he/she is confused this game isn't like golf, here the lower the number the worst you did. 

[BlazerSparta]

Ok this is troubling a click bait head line writer is playing WoWs. But I think he/she is confused this game isn't like golf, here the lower the number the worst you did. 

 

 

Not sure if trolling more...or serious.

 

[BatRastardly]

This post was only a joke with the point being the futility of poor gameplay.

 

I've played all the CA's and a couple BB's, both in the public tests.

 

I play the DD's primarily because they're the hardest to survive in and Ispent 4 years on them. (USN) The Murmansk I bought because playing a game this good for free feels wrong and the thin skin Murmansk has a DD feel to it. I make stupid mistakes in that one too.

 

Sorry to those who somehow took this seriously, I thought the over-the-top approach made it obvious. Wasn't out to offend, OK?

 

Bat

[AldoRey50]

Wait what? Who's joking? Who's pushing my leg?

[madmanthan21]

There's just so many wrong things about this post... I can't even...

 

First there's this talk about "Doctors hate him, find out how this guy lost weight instantly" beginning, then you go on an adventure about how damage is useless, then you seem to say your teams are horrible, there's also the fact you only have battles in the Murmansk and Nicholas, and skipped everything else, and then you end it with "I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go."

 

Where oh where has sarcasm gone...

[Jagdfan]

I like how [edited]and [edited]are censored, but bastard isn't XD

 

In Russian, a bastard is always a cousin.

 

[Alphabloom]

god damn that clickbait start 

[GravyDave1]

You heard that right, I am the best noob ever and I am going to share the secret the developers

                                 DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW!

You may think the key is sinking the other ships, earning XP, getting mondo hits and damage.

NOT SO! I never do those things. I leave my team in the dust from the get-go everytime and there

isn't a slot I haven't scooted down in my mighty DD. Yep, lone wolf it everytime and maybe my gameplay

sometimes lasts almost two minutes when I'm lucky, I ALWAYS END AT THE TOP OF THE TEAM SCOREBOARD.

 

At first I thought it was just a matter of innate awesomeness but I got to wondering as I rarely get a shot off

let alone hit anything before being blown out of the water by an unseen multitude. (you know who you are)

Anyways, I started thinking, no easy task mind you, and realised that it can't be my total lack of stategy, of

constant running up on those sneaky damn islands, or forgetting where the throttle and rudder thingees are.

No it can only be one thing ....... AUDACITY!            SHEER AUDACITY!!!!

 

Don't believe me? Just go ahead and try it. Next time you land in Two Brothers just rush up the center at full speed.

Or better yet, in Ocean let your loser teamates spot the biggest damn clump of cruisers and battleships and rush them.

I'am not too ashamed to admit that sometimes I close my eyes as it gets a little gory, but only briefly.

After you get blown to smithereens you can watch your poor misguided teamates try their strategy and work together

in the false hope of attaining that top spot on the leaderboard. Already taken, [edited]! heh,heh,heh.

 

After the game just go to the team score and click that little star once and boom! You are on the top.

I am EVERY TIME!!! I hate to gloat and get all smug and crapbut what can I say, I am one awesome Noob.

Figuring out that the developers secretly give you hidden points for audacity was brilliant and I have decided

to share because, well, get's kind of lonely at the top. I have been there long enough and it's time to let others

try.

 

I would especially like all you "red team" bastards to give it a go.

 

Sincere,

BatRastardly

 

Have to give you a up vote for this. great laugh thanks

[Chumbucket]

you have a gift. You need to be writing a funny column or weekly about Warships, have the cartoonist who did the "stay zoomed in" video work with you! You'd be a smashing success.  Sincerely!

 

[Final_Spark]

It took me a second to realize what was going on after I read "click that little star once." Well played, OP.

[Nachtjaeger62]

Much laugh. Such joy. Seriously, brilliant post