Unsafe at any Speed?

[by7antine]

Are Wargaming BBs, like the US auto industry of old, 'Unsafe at any Speed'?

I decided to do a little digging and came up with some unfortunate findings.

 

Perhaps most tellingly, Belarus does not have any Ocean ports.  While through the marvels of modern mega-moving they were able to manufacture some very large ships and have them transported and assembles in Kaliningrad they decided the expense of doing the same with BBs would eat up all the profits of the game.  Someone had an excellent idea - outsource the BB construction to a company in California.  Unfortunately (perhaps because the games developers originate in a landlocked country?) they did not recognize that the California company in question was highly regarded for their movie props, not for actual naval construction.

As such, Wargaming BBs suffer from a few drawbacks:

1. Wargaming BBs are not made from steel but rather plywood, cardboard, and paper mache.  This unfortunately leads to a tendency of combustion.

2. Because of their light construction (and WoW time compression) Wargaming BBs are very nimble.  Unfortunately this nimbleness is not shared by the turrets.  Even a plywood turret has some weight to it and to comply with California fire codes the turrets must be manually crank turned.  (That and the fact that WG did not apply any time compression to turret rotation while everything else in game is time compressed.)

3. Because of CA worker safety rules the very tall crows nests on BBs are unoccupied, thus reducing any unfair spotting ability that BBs might have over shorter ships.  (The other possibility is that only persons with a pathological inability to see DDs are allowed to act as spotters on BBs.)

 

I don't pretend to be among those who 'go down to the sea in ships' but I suspect the landlocked naval design bureau in Minsk may have a few more kinks to work out.

[Business6]

What the hell is this crap?

[JRos83]

lol Ralph Nader!

[Arvanna_1]

OMG it explains so much!!! 

 

[dahdah325]

What the hell is this crap?

 

Its some 12yo attempting to be witty. And failing. 

[LazyBadger]

I don't even... What?

[HazardDrake]

You do realize that "Unsafe at any speed" is more propaganda than research, right?

[Quaffer]

I loved my Corvair.

[magellster]

I thought this was funny tbh

[Cragger]

Are Wargaming BBs, like the US auto industry of old, 'Unsafe at any Speed'?

I decided to do a little digging and came up with some unfortunate findings.

 

 

Perhaps most tellingly, Belarus does not have any Ocean ports.  While through the marvels of modern mega-moving they were able to manufacture some very large ships and have them transported and assembles in Kaliningrad they decided the expense of doing the same with BBs would eat up all the profits of the game.  Someone had an excellent idea - outsource the BB construction to a company in California.  Unfortunately (perhaps because the games developers originate in a landlocked country?) they did not recognize that the California company in question was highly regarded for their movie props, not for actual naval construction.

As such, Wargaming BBs suffer from a few drawbacks:

1. Wargaming BBs are not made from steel but rather plywood, cardboard, and paper mache.  This unfortunately leads to a tendency of combustion.

2. Because of their light construction (and WoW time compression) Wargaming BBs are very nimble.  Unfortunately this nimbleness is not shared by the turrets.  Even a plywood turret has some weight to it and to comply with California fire codes the turrets must be manually crank turned.  (That and the fact that WG did not apply any time compression to turret rotation while everything else in game is time compressed.)

3. Because of CA worker safety rules the very tall crows nests on BBs are unoccupied, thus reducing any unfair spotting ability that BBs might have over shorter ships.  (The other possibility is that only persons with a pathological inability to see DDs are allowed to act as spotters on BBs.)

 

 

I don't pretend to be among those who 'go down to the sea in ships' but I suspect the landlocked naval design bureau in Minsk may have a few more kinks to work out.

 

WoWS isn't being developed in Minsk, Belarus for starters. *laughs*

[Quora]

 

Its some 12yo attempting to be witty. And failing. 

 

For his first post on the forums, he's trying to be humorous about a much discussed topic here.   At least he's not trying to increase the toxicity of the forums, unlike yourself.

[by7antine]

For those who enjoyed it, good.

For those who didn't get it, that's OK.  Satire and remembering the 60's is not for everyone.

For those who enjoy insulting other people's sense of humor...  well, kinda sad.

For those who made proper critique (D'oh!  Yes, WoWs is being developed by Lesta in St. Petersburg.) thank you.

[StooperDave]

LOL. This is gold. Thank you for that OP.

[Arvanna_1]

Actually i won't a refund of the Dispersion Shield System on my ships as the thing only seems to affect secondaries and BB main battery shells