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Grand_Admiral_Murrel

Warships Player Base - a Parody

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Anyone know the shanty written by Stan Rogers, Barrett's Privateers? Well, here's a partial rendition for ya, I would appreciate some suggestions for more verses! Read between the lines, and let me know how accurate this is. 

 

Oh, the year was 2022

How I wish I had not signed up now

A letter of marque came calling me a whale

To the scummiest wargame I've played in a while

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

“Oh no not subs,” cried the crowd

How I wish I had not signed up now

For thousands of folks all casuals who

Would make for them the open test crew

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

The management team was a pitiful sight

How I wish I had not signed up now

Communication was poor but they said they’d change

So they hired a manager who didn’t know the game

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

For the first dockyard we put to sea

How I wish I had not signed up now

You can grind Puerto Rico completely for free

Oh by the way, there’s a nominal fee

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

 

For the New Year’s event we sailed again

How I wish I had not signed up now

Took us two whole updates to collect our loot

Santa crates are cursed, there’s a shortlist to boot

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

How the servers freely flow with gold

How I wish I had not signed up now

The devs’ pockets were fat from their greedy ways

But fixing torp bugs took ’em fifty whole days

 

God damn them all

I was told we'd cruise the seas in historical botes

We'd fire our guns, shed no tears

But I'm a broken man on a custom PC

The last of the Warships player base

 

For those who don't know the song, I thoroughly recommend it. Here's a link to a cover by Colm McGuinness: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPr5gaVMkZc

Edited by Grand_Admiral_Murrel
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Interesting rhyme and meter scheme.  I can picture a bunch of drunk pirates singing it.

+1 The effort is noble though I can't support many of the sentiments.

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4 minutes ago, iDuckman said:

Interesting rhyme and meter scheme.  I can picture a bunch of drunk pirates singing it.

+1 The effort is noble though I can't support many of the sentiments.

Drunk pirates is exactly right. Thanks for comment!

For the record, I realize that this will come across as insensitive and abrasive to some, but I would like to counter with "at least I haven't lowered myself to WG's level"

Edited by Grand_Admiral_Murrel

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7 minutes ago, iDuckman said:

Interesting rhyme and meter scheme.  I can picture a bunch of drunk pirates singing it.

+1 The effort is noble though I can't support many of the sentiments.

If you are not familiar with the source material here it is.

Well worth the time.

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