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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Job

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Post some funny things that have happened to you in your job. I'll start.

When I was studying philosophy, I paid my bills by being a night manager for the apartment complex in which I was living. One evening I got a call from a tenant who was screaming so loudly I could barely understand her. I finally caught the words "Snake!" and her apartment number though so I said I'd be right over.

I knocked on the door but nobody answered. I knocked again and yelled "Manager!" Still, nobody answered. I then put my ear to the door and could hear faint screaming coming from the back of the apartment so I let myself in with my passkey. "Manager!," I called out. "I'm in the bedroom! There's a snake in here!" was the reply.

I went into the bedroom and saw the tenant standing on a chair in the middle of the room. "Watch out!" she screamed, "There's a snake!" I looked around but couldn't see anything that resembled a snake so I asked her where it was. "It's there!," she cried, pointing to a spot near the chair.

In front of the chair was a tiny object that I thought was a scrunchie or some other do-dad that women use. It hardly looked like a snake so I starting looking around the corners of the room trying to find the reptile. However, she kept insisting that the snake was right in front of the chair so I got down on my hands and knees and looked more closely.

Sure enough, coiled up in front of the chair was the smallest snake I'd ever seen in my life. It couldn't have been more than three inches long. I quickly determined that it probably wasn't a native or exotic poisonous species so just put it in my shirt pocket and asked the tenant if there was anything else she needed. She said "No" so I left. She was still standing on the chair as I closed the apartment door.

Now, I do know my reptiles somewhat but had never seen that specific species before. This was before the Internet so I had to make a trip to the college science library, snake still in my pocket, to do some research. I discovered that it was a baby lined snake, which is a common but little-seen snake as it spends most of its life burrowing under leaf litter and in the soil.

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Edited by Snargfargle
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I painted houses during my summers in college. Small crew, small town, good pay, kept me outside, overall pretty good.

One day we were painting the front of a woodsided house. As happens because of ladders and whatnot, about halfway through the morning we realized that we had painted a stairway across the front of the house. The homeowner happened to come out, noticed the same thing, and suggested that we paint a stick figure running up the stairs. Being a bunch of guys in our twenties and since the boss was not around, this quickly evolved. Twenty minutes later the front of the house was a diorama of our boss chasing one of his employees up the stairs with a bow and arrow, complete with flying arrows and nametags.

We all had a good laugh, the homeowner appreciated it, and by the time our boss got back the front was completely painted with no indication of the artwork. We did show him pictures and he had a good chuckle. Why bows and arrows? They were easy to paint.

The same homeowner (quite a character) was a navy vet. The first coat we put on was a gray primer. We put it up, and left for the day. The next day he told us several of the neighbors (knowing he had been in the navy) had asked if the house was going to stay battleship gray:Smile_teethhappy:. Fortunately for them, his wife was in charge of colors, and it was going to be a quite nice blue with white and pink trim (yes, I was hesitant too, but it actually worked really well).

 

 

Another one was when I was still in undergrad. Doing independent research, our group discovered a bottle of uranium nitrate. Our professor told us he had no idea what it was for as it predated his time at the school (more than 15 years). Being curious, we obtained a geiger counter, and discovered it was indeed still radioactive. Of course the next step was to light some on fire to see what color it made (in a hood, we weren't that dumb). It made a nice green color, but also melted all over bunsen burner. We now had a radioactive bunsen burner. This burner was used for lab classes we TA'd the next semester, and we got a kick out of walking over to a group and saying, "oh, you have the radioactive burner":Smile_teethhappy:. (before anyone gets too worked up, uranium nitrate is a low level emitter, and only alpha radiation. It gets blocked by glass and air, and unless you're sitting right next to a pile of it it's not going to hurt you. It's even been used to stain glass. The chemical toxicity is far more a concern than the radiation, which is pretty much harmless).

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RAF Mildenhall AFB. Sitting in the line truck waiting for the KC's after a SR-71 mission, we only sent up six for that one, to come back smoking and joking when one guy said, "I need to go home", the boss asked why and he responded "She is going to get pregnant and I want to be there".

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11 minutes ago, BrushWolf said:

Sitting in the line truck waiting for the KC's a

I may have mentioned this before but my cousin was the head of a Boeing crew that went over to Italy and converted their KC-767 aerial tankers. He was over there for three or four years. Fortunately, the job was wrapped up before the pandemic hit. He went to Japan and worked on their tankers too.

Edited by Snargfargle

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7 minutes ago, Snargfargle said:

I may have mentioned this before but my cousin was the head of a Boeing crew that went over to Italy and converted their KC-767 aerial tankers. He was over there for three or four years. Fortunately, the job was wrapped up before the pandemic hit. He went to Japan and worked on their tankers too.

These were the old "water burning" J57 powered Q models to feed the SR its special JP-7 fuel.

Edited by BrushWolf

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56 minutes ago, BrushWolf said:

RAF Mildenhall AFB. Sitting in the line truck waiting for the KC's after a SR-71 mission, we only sent up six for that one, to come back smoking and joking when one guy said, "I need to go home", the boss asked why and he responded "She is going to get pregnant and I want to be there".

Wow, RAF Mildenhall that's a name I haven't heard in a while. I was at RAF Feltwell, can't share any of my stories though, not any of the good ones anyways.

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Have a friend who works as an auto parts clerk, and one day he got a call from an older woman who needed a radiator for her car. He assured her they carried all types of radiators and if they didn't have one in stock they could certainly order her one, which could be overnighted for fast delivery. He then asked her what kind of a car she had.

"I have a blue car" came the reply.

"I'm sorry ma'am; all we have are black radiators" he replied jokingly.

She hung up right after saying "Thank you."

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Oh there is one I can share. I was an EOD Tech in the USAF stationed at the above mentioned RAF Feltwell. 

One fall we went on a training assignment with some British Ordnance troops and one of the things we did was walk the Wash during low tide which was like half an hour before dawn that day. Part of the Wash is a practice bombing range and has been since like forever. well bombing runs are tightly scheduled and we had to operate between them. What we were doing was looking for any unexploded ordnance or anything historical that may have washed up. The Brits do this all the time but it was something we Americans hadn't done before.

So there we were trudging along the water line the sun is barley rising and it freezing and we aren't finding anything when we hear the sound of an A-10 behind us. An A-10 has a very distinctive sound and it GAU-8 Cannon even mores which is what we heard next. There were 2 of them doing a run blazing away at the ground, more than likely never saw us and really they weren't that close to us so we probably weren't in any danger any way... but still scared us s**tless and we all dived into the surf  since they do the bombing and shooting on the exposed shore. The planes made two passes and flew away. We crawled out of the freezing water and made our way back off the bombing area to were the brits Landrover and our truck was parked. the British Captain who was in charge never said anything even though our Staff Sargent was all "what are we supposed to do report the planes". The brit just said "No, these things just happen some time. Any one wnat a spot of breakfast I could do with a nice egg and sausage sandwich."

So we had egg and sausage sandwiches while soaking wet after being strafed by A-10s on the Wash.

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In my stream survey course I taught students from all over the Caribbean and Central America as well as from the US. At the start of one class a tiny girl showed up. As many of my students were older, I just assumed that someone had brought their daughter to class. It took me a couple of weeks to realize that the girl was actually a student. I got to talking to her and found out that she was from a Central American Indian tribe whose members hardly ever got above five feet tall. I had to go to a local sporting outlet and purchase a set of kids' waders because none of the Department's waders, even the women's smalls, would fit her.

When performing stream surveys, one of the things you do is measure the width, depth, and length of riffles and pools as they provide different habitats. One pool was especially deep but she was bravely sallying forth, measuring staff in hand, to check its depth. I realized that the pool would be over her head and told her to get _______, one of the Jamaican students, to measure it instead. Unlike many of the Central American students in the course, the Jamaicans, even the girls, were usually tall. She said, "______ won't do it, he's lazy!" That got quite a laugh from the team because it was sort of true.

The Jamaicans never ceased to crack me up. I always hoped that I'd have two or three in every class because they were usually as fun as a comedy troupe. My students were always trying to trip me up and pull little jokes on me but I usually kept a step ahead of them by making them wonder if I knew more about them then I might be letting on. One of the Jamaicans once told me that I should give him an extra 10% on the test "because English wasn't his first language." I told him that I knew good and well that Jamaica used to be a British colony and that they spoke English there. He then said, "Well, I bet you can't tell me when we got our independence!" I said, "1962." I have no idea how I knew that but it was right and he never tried to pull one over on me after that. That guy always cracked me up because he was scared of frogs. The whole survey team would be laughing their heads off when some girl would chase him with a frog.

  

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1 hour ago, nina_blain_73 said:

Wow, RAF Mildenhall that's a name I haven't heard in a while. I was at RAF Feltwell, can't share any of my stories though, not any of the good ones anyways.

I have been to Feltwell but that was when it was inactive for Reforager as Transit Alert and the WWII barracks were still there.. It was wild, there were two of us and a crazy Captain that had driven his special built never to reenter the US Superbird over from Germany. The Brits were operating Victor tankers out of there because their runway was being redone and they were stealing our toilet paper like there was no tomorrow although it took a bit to figure out it was them. It seems US government TP was heaven to them as their government issue was like wax paper without the wax, the Captain set them up for a good length of time.

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46 minutes ago, BrushWolf said:

It seems US government TP was heaven to them 

I remember on REFORGER that I could trade my C-ration toilet paper for various goodies. Myself, I'd learned early on to throw several rolls of the good stuff in with my medical supplies. Nothing makes a field maneuver nicer or engenders you more with you superiors than being the guy who always has plenty of nice toilet paper. I can recall one Australian officer showing me his brown ration toilet paper and saying "Look at what they give us to wipe our bloody <bleepers> with."

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My father started working for Boeing in the late 1950s. He was a machinist at the Renton plant and started out working on the KCs but was shifted to the 727s when they started producing them.

 

For 11 years I worked at Seattle Intentional Raceway, now called Pacific Raceway, and lived on the track for seven of those years. I only worked full time the first two years and for those seven years I lived on the track I was only required to be there on weekends and some evenings. No rent to pay, no utilities or phone bills and I got paid $150/month for living there plus I was free to work elsewhere full time when I wanted. I have a few stories but most of them, like the times I was stuck trying to deal with several thousand drunk people, were not funny at the time.

For the big events we would hire rent-a-cops to be placed by certain locations and Crowd Management Services who would  bring dozens of tough people to deal with the unruly spectators. The CMS people were great but the rent-a-cops, not always. At our major drag race there was a walk-thru entrance to the pits where people would pay money for pit access and we would place a girl there to sell the tickets along with a rent-a-cop. During one race I'm about 200 feet away from the walk-thru pit entrance talking with someone when the rent-a-cop comes running up to me and says he thinks a couple of men are about to rob them. I look over and there is our ticket girl all alone so I say to him "and you thought it was a good idea to leave her there alone?" He thinks about it for a second, turns and runs back. 

My living room window in the upper right.

Spoiler

image.png.70fcda7ed3f0db8744e208f64e13dfa2.png

 

Most of the time I had all this to play on when there were no events going on. I had lot of laps around the road course. 

image.png.f43151ee3cb55f219caed5364e2537c4.png

 

Edited by Klaatu_Nicto
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