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Sumseaman

CV Rehabilitation Clinic

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Are you tired of being despised by the 'majority' of the player base? Do you weary of the ever burdening mirror matchmaking that obliges you to be a the lil spotting biatch your team expects you to be? Are you sick and tired of always being asked the same ubiquitous questions when being marketed to prior to reading what is on offer?

The Sumseaman CV Rehabilitation Clinic offers treatment for those that suffer from CV addiction. In just a few short months we can guarantee recovery from this life destroying illness. Our intensive treatment program can and will ween you off with supplementary classes and community appeasing playstyles! Our elite staff of DD, CA, CL and BB unicums (you'll adore our purple uniforms!) instruct the patient in the art of 'surface' ships and gunnery. Our clinics core values and what we seek to develop are; 

- Firing non airborne armament

- Exposing your hull to enemy fire

- Attacking other ships without impunity

- Helming your ship without autopilot

- Backline sniping

- Radar cruiser island camping

- HE Spamming

- Loot box gambling

- Touching yourself inappropriately while watching Anime

- Insta reporting players who continue to play CVs

- Seal clubbing players who continue to play CVs in low tier US destroyers

- Crying about players who continue to play CVs

- Crying about being spotted by players who continue to play CVs

- Crying about being focused by players who continue to play CVs when in a lone, poor AA, smokeless, spotted DD who rushed a cap or a Musashi

These are just some of the successful methods we utilise as the cure for this illness which destroys online families.

If you or anyone in your contact list suffers from CV addiction please do not hesitate to contact us for a free assessment!

Edited by Sumseaman
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I will not do it and you can't make me!

:Smile_veryhappy:

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Some of us play all 4 classes because we actually enjoy all 4 classes.

 

Sorry for party rockin'.

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5 minutes ago, Burnsy said:

I will not do it and you can't make me!

:Smile_veryhappy:

I smell an intervention Burnsy…..Help is out there!

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3 minutes ago, Sumseaman said:

I smell an intervention Burnsy…..Help is out there!

Just one more game....Maybe tomorrow.

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I already got banned from 3 Clans, 7 Discord servers and have been TKd several times for my CV addiction.

 

YOU CANNOT STOP ME FROM CONTINUING DOWN THIS PATH!

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I can fix all your CV related problems with one simple instruction: You can't lose if you don't play!

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Just now, Umikami said:

I can fix all your CV related problems with one simple instruction: You can't lose if you don't play!

Back to work.

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1 hour ago, Umikami said:

I can fix all your CV related problems with one simple instruction: You can't lose if you don't play!

Those who don't suffer the affliction will never understand.....

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14 minutes ago, Squib_Surefire said:

a Carrier suppository?

 

1 minute ago, Sumseaman said:

(Stretch)

Not a big deal. Just use some of whatever lube the Russians use on the Murmansk steering gears to get faster rudder shift than Omaha.

I do see one problem though. CVs are fairly resistant to melting, you might have to avoid sitting down for a day or so....:Smile_trollface:

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2 hours ago, Skpstr said:

Those who don't suffer the affliction will never understand.....

Yeah, I don't get the gambling bug either; guess I always worked too hard for my money to just toss it away.

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5 hours ago, Sumseaman said:

Are you tired of being despised by the 'majority' of the player base? Do you weary of the ever burdening mirror matchmaking that obliges you to be a the lil spotting biatch your team expects you to be? Are you sick and tired of always being asked the same ubiquitous questions when being marketed to prior to reading what is on offer?

The Sumseaman CV Rehabilitation Clinic offers treatment for those that suffer from CV addiction. In just a few short months we can guarantee recovery from this life destroying illness. Our intensive treatment program can and will ween you off with supplementary classes and community appeasing playstyles! Our elite staff of DD, CA, CL and BB unicums (you'll adore our purple uniforms!) instruct the patient in the art of 'surface' ships and gunnery. Our clinics core values and what we seek to develop are; 

 

As tempting as it is, CVs are the only ships for me. Rehab isn't an option for those blessed by the aerial cancer.

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2 hours ago, Umikami said:

Yeah, I don't get the gambling bug either; guess I always worked too hard for my money to just toss it away.

It's probably not that, you  just aren't somebody who's always on the lookout for something free, or aspiring beyond your means.

You would likely be a pretty hard target for a con man.

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The best rehabilitation is change from the air cancer to the HE dakka dakka cancer, let the world burn.

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    I play all the ships but CV is literally the ONLY ship type that I have gotten reported just for showing up in. Its only one clan that does it every time I play them, but that does not change the fact. They dev strike my heart every time they do it ...

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Why do I play CVs? Well, here's a little story that explains it.

Back in the days when the gods walked among men, there were two farmers who owned neighboring fields. These farmers were the best of friends. One morning, they saw a god walking on the road between their fields. After work, one farmer commented to the other that he'd never seen a god that was completely white, from head to toe. The other farmer said that his friend must be mistaken as the god was completely black. The next day they saw the same god, and again they disagreed as to its color. This happened day after day until the farmers came to blows.

When they were brought before the magistrate they screamed so much about how the other was a complete nincompoop who couldn't see what was right in front of his eyes that the magistrate was considering throwing them both in jail. However, before he did he asked someone to go see if the god would come to the courtroom. To everyone's surprise, the god actually deigned to appear. As the celestial being entered the courtroom, the magistrate saw immediately what the problem was, as did the farmers -- the god was completely white on one side and completely black on the other. The magistrate asked the god why he only presented one side of himself to each farmers, as he surely knew that it would cause an argument. The god answered, "Spreading strife is my greatest joy."

 

Edited by Snargfargle

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