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Sovereigndawg

What A Joke!

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Tonto and the Lone Ranger are out riding the range, Tonto suddenly stops, jumps off his horse and puts his ear to the ground for a few seconds. He then looks at the Lone Ranger and says, Kemosabe, Buffalo come.

The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, How do you know that?

Tonto says, Ear Sticky.

 

Got any good ones?

Edited by Sovereigndawg

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I had made a joke thread a while back, some good ones in there

 

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Two scientists walk into a bar, not being much for alcohol the first scientist says "I'll have an H2O".   The second one says "I'll have an H2O too".
The second one dies.

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How many American tourists does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifteen. Five to figure out how much the bulb costs in the local currency, four to comment on "how funny-looking" local lightbulbs are, three to hire a local person to change the bulb, two to take pictures, and one to create a facebook group to organize this event.

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1 hour ago, tugdual said:

 

 

*snickers*

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How about some self-depreciation then:

How many hotel desk clerks does it take to change a light bulb? Seven. One to program a master key for the maintenance shop, one to go to the maintenance shop to get the light bulb, one to deal with the guest that intercepts them complaining about the ice machine on the way to the maintenance shop, one double-check what kind of fixtures are in the room, two to take the fifteen phone calls that should have gone to central reservations which come though during this whole process, and one to call management and find out that the right light bulb is out of stock and didn't come in the last supply order.*

*just came up with this on the spot, funniness not guaranteed

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How many country-western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?   4, one to do the job, 3 to sing about how much they miss the old one

4 minutes ago, Landsraad said:

 

 

The funniest part of that is that it's all true   xD

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1 minute ago, Chobittsu said:

The funniest part of that is that it's all true   xD

No, the funniest part is that we only ever have one on duty! Haha! Hahaha... Ha...


I need a new job and/or a raise...

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Amazing translation English to french :

- "take french leave" is translated in french by  "filer à l'anglaise", literally "leave English style".

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