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(Place tongue firmly in cheek before proceeding. And remember: Irony is Truth)

 

  1. Invisible ships that whine about radar and battleship AP

  2. Big fat clumsy ships that whine about invisible ships, fires and walls of torps

  3. Floating citadels that win by hiding behind cover and lobbing lameness onto hapless targets that can’t fire back at them

  4. Smoke, smoke, smoke and some more smoke

  5. Fire-spitting smoke clouds featured prominently in the naval battles of the early to mid-20th Century

  6. Overpenetrations: 16” shells go right through a canoe, you know, for only 10% damage

  7. The Dispersion Slot Machine---feeling lucky? Well, are you, punk?

  8. Hair-pulling and rage incumbent upon the attempt to get a few digital stars next to one’s name through “competitive play” (mark you: there is no monetary compensation for this)

  9. Wailing, frustration and rage about the matchmaker

  10. Wailing, frustration and rage about “having a bad team”

  11. Wailing, frustration and rage about “losing 10 games in a row and it’s not my fault”

  12. Cyclones: “Well, Yuri Ivanovich, you have to encourage people to close the distance somehow.” “Great idea, Igor Semyonovich, let’s implement it!”  (leaked conversation from WG St. Petersburg office, circa 2016).

  13. Angling: Because 2700 lb shells aren’t that dangerous if they hit you at 65 degrees. To borrow a phrase from WoT: "Bounced off!"

  14. Overmatch: The number 14.3 is extremely important in naval combat (who knew? I’ll tell you: The designers of 460mm Japanese naval guns. Smart!)

  15. One of the greatest innovations in naval strategy in this period involved pointing the bow of the ship toward the enemy and slowly reversing.

  16. Don’t you dare cross the T, noob. What do you think this is, a historical game?

  17. British battleships: Because to heck with your angling

  18. Great Naval Battles in bodies of water full of large masses of strangely-shaped land

  19. An aircraft carrier? Never seen one of those.

  20. Deep Water torps: Because battleship players are stupid and there are too many of them

  21. Radar: Because if your own DDs die, how will you ever see the little buggers?

  22. Egos and Tempers the size of the USS Midway

  23. Who knew the Soviet Navy boasted such a formidable surface fleet with artillery more accurate than anything any capitalist pig-navy could ever devise?

  24. “Destroyers in World War II primarily performed fleet and convoy escort, as well as antisubmarine warfare duties” Oh wait….

  25. Detonations: “We at Wargaming.net believe in fun and engaging gameplay!”

  26. Detonations: “Buy this piece of striped cloth and hoist it up the mainmast. It will prevent the unlimited supply of torpedoes in your hull from going off when hit.”

  27. Fires: Because how else can a 127mm gun sink a 60,000 ton ship?

  28. 33% Skill, 67% Luck. Want to change that? Carry harder and git gud, scrub.

  29. “I play World of Warships because it helps me relax.”

  30. “I play World of Warships because of the friendly, welcoming and helpful community.”

  31. Losing credits? “May I interest you in a premium account, dear sir?”

  32. Armor penetration mechanics more Byzantine than organic chemistry

  33. Soviet Battleships: The End of the World is Coming

  • Cool 3
  • Funny 3
  • Boring 1

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On 7/7/2018 at 11:57 AM, RearAdmiral_Butts said:

Who knew the Soviet Navy boasted such a formidable surface fleet with artillery more accurate than anything any capitalist pig-navy could ever devise?

 

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On 7/7/2018 at 9:57 AM, RearAdmiral_Butts said:

Who knew the Soviet Navy boasted such a formidable surface fleet with artillery more accurate than anything any capitalist pig-navy could ever devise?

I always snicker when i load up OP Cherry Blossom and there is a few Russian Cruisers in it. Historically accurate.

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