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Guardian54

Please make center-of-stern anchors censored by default! (Satire)

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This is intended as an overly-politically-correct SATIRICAL/SARCASTIC JOKE.

Suggestions of other such jokes are highly appreciated.

I mentioned recently in a thread suggesting a Russian cruiser split that the Shchors is probably in the game (instead of Chapayev-Sverdlov for Tier 7-8) largely because it has an anchor firmly lodged up a round hole in the exact center of its flat transom stern. Here's the specific comment. Since plenty of folks in-game and on forums find it funny, let's try something even more outrageous. ("There is a point where we need to stop and we have clearly passed it, but let's keep going and see what happens" meme here)

 

Examining this image, one can see that the Sverdlov at least (I have not yet examined the stern of the Chapayev closely) has an anchor in a less obvious location as far as the tender sensibilities of small children who may play this game are concerned. Yes, it LOOKS like (in the photo below) it's under an underhang (i.e. tailbone protrusion) and between two rounded bulges, but it's less obviously asinine to the viewpoints of small children unless specifically pointed out than the Shchors.

Spoiler

AdmiralUshakov1981.jpg

I also just noticed yesterday that my Bayern has the same problem of an anchor lodged up a round hole in the exact center of its round, curvy derriere.

*serious face* I would like to request that for the protection of children's eyes, we should by default omit the anchor from the sterns of ship models, or at least do not show the exit hole in such detail. Because a mechanism specifically designed to use significant force to pull out a long chain of linked-together roundish objects from a round hole in the center of one's rear end is not something children should be shown in great detail.

This is especially true when the Bayern is quite awful enough (supposed brawlers need to be able to catch up to targets! I'd hoped it would be less painful than the QE but nope...) that it often induces sufficient butthurt to feel like having rusty chains stuck up one's rear.

 

Censoring by default can blame any uncensorings and bad ideas ("I didn't mean to sit on the anchor, honestly sir!") on the people who chose to uncensor it. And it's not exactly a huge feat of modelling to add random blacked-out boxes over these parts as censor boxes. At least, compared to the way Tirpitz at a distance without zooming in SOMEHOW looks like a hull with the rear turrets (i.e. no superstructure rendered as if by magic, making it look more like a landing craft in profile than a battleship) it should be very easy to censor when one gets close enough to actually see the anchors (generally only on your own ship).

 

NOTE: In case you didn't notice the first time, this is a satirical joke. Please share other funny observations about World of Warships and make similar outrageous demands!

Edited by Guardian54

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On an unrelated topic, I was walking down isle 3 looking at the brownie mixes, when a rouge pallet mover dumped 8 two liter bottles of diet Coke and they were all aimed at me and my shopping cart. The first thing that you notice is how actually loud 8 coke bottles exploding at the same time is. The second thing you notice, is that your eyelids didn't close fast enough and that it only takes about a half second for your eyes to start burning. The third thing you take note of, is that the burning only lasts for about 30 seconds. Lastly you find, that you never realized exactly how much liquid is in 8 two liter bottles of diet Coke, until they all blow up in your general direction. I have now come to conclusion that a pallet of diet Coke has better dispersion than all German Battleships. I got hit by all 8 guns and there were no shatters or overpens.

Edited by Sovereigndawg

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37 minutes ago, admiral_noone said:

Thanks, Kancolle, now people think of warships in these terms...

To quote Hamlet: "WHAT AN A$* AM I!"

*WG-censored term for a wild donkey.

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