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Battlecruiser_NewZealand

Completely Devastated

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I have known a girl since high school who I had been involved in off and on romantically. About a year and a half ago, I got divorced, and despite the fact that she was married, we started talking again, and it did lead to some emotional infidelity on her part. She's always been a very flawed person (I am, too; totally and completely messed up) - an enormous narcissist and emotional basket case who was seriously wobbling on the edge of a bipolar disorder. But I seem to be one of those gentlemen who is attracted to the crazy ones, so in a strange way, I found her oddities highly appealing.

About three weeks ago, she suddenly stopped talking to me. She had previously drifted into reticence before, so this was nothing unusual... not to mention I was distracted by severe drama of my own (getting fired).

Today, pretty randomly, I logged onto Facebook. I'm not a big believer in social media, so this was like a once-every-six-months kind of login. And there, on her feed, I saw the news that the day after we had stopped talking, she had been involved in a horrendous car accident. She broke both legs, suffered severe internal injuries, is still at risk of having a foot amputated, has experienced a series of strokes since wreck, and is still in the ICU. There are strong chances that, even if she survives, she will never be the same person again.

I am... inconsolable. As a secret lover who is a thousand miles away, I can do nothing - I cannot reach out, I cannot visit, I cannot receive updates; I am simply in the dark. This is a person I have known for 20 years; an individual who I have both despised and loved, and suddenly she may be irrecoverable. As marred a personality as she has, it is wholly unique - I have never met another spirit like her, and I never will again. The idea that it could have been ripped away or whitewashed has left me almost catatonic.

What makes things worse is that I believe I could have prevented this. I warned her repeatedly about her bad driving habits, but, even moreso, two weeks before the accident, she had been planning to come see me. However, I met someone else and, as I did not want to christen my new relationship by sleeping with someone else, I cancelled the visit rather abruptly. But... had I seen her; had we gone through with it, it is absolutely certain she wouldn't have been hurt in this way. Even the smallest changes have profound impacts, and the idea that, had we gone through with meeting, that she would have been in that precise spot in that exact moment are ludicrous. The difference between her being on the verge of death; of having her life potentially forever altered, was one decision I made to cancel on a virtual whim.

You can frown at the infidelity all you like; you can judge the girl (and myself) harshly for being bad people - we are. But she didn't deserve this... she didn't deserve the horrors that she has experienced, and the unknowns that lie ahead. I cannot even process my grief, and I know so few people that here I am, pouring my stream of consciousness out on a forum. I do not understand the world.

Edited by Battlecruiser_NewZealand
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I usually dont post things like this because I believe that if you dont have something nice to say then you shouldnt speak, but....

 

You sir, deserve a fist to multiple places.

 

I am very sorry that this woman was hurt, very sorry indeed and at the risk of being removed from things I love to do, You're an [edited].

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I'm sorry to hear that. Just not sure what we are supposed to do.

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3 minutes ago, JollyRoger6969 said:

sir, deserve a fist to multiple places.

Of course, everyone who ever had an affair in their lives throughout the long expanse of mankind must be roasting in hell right now. I'd ask you to look back on history at the number of truly spectacular people who were disloyal to their spouses and condemn them all - universally - for the crime of loving another. How dare you be so self righteous. You are not some flawless cherub. 

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I'm sorry for the pain you and your friend are going through.

I wish you both the best for what may come, and hope that you both will find happiness no matter the choices you make.

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3 minutes ago, Battlecruiser_NewZealand said:

Of course, everyone who ever had an affair in their lives throughout the long expanse of mankind must be roasting in hell right now. I'd ask you to look back on history at the number of truly spectacular people who were disloyal to their spouses and condemn them all - universally - for the crime of loving another. How dare you be so self righteous. You are not some flawless cherub. 

That dont make it right and proper.

 

I stand by what I said. You're a [edited].

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1 minute ago, JollyRoger6969 said:

That dont make it right and proper.

 

I stand by what I said. You're a [edited].

(Sorry wrong chronological order)

5 minutes ago, Battlecruiser_NewZealand said:

Of course, everyone who ever had an affair in their lives throughout the long expanse of mankind must be roasting in hell right now. I'd ask you to look back on history at the number of truly spectacular people who were disloyal to their spouses and condemn them all - universally - for the crime of loving another. How dare you be so self righteous. You are not some flawless cherub. 

The nerve of both of you! Everyone is flawed, but this thread shows two people not dealing with them and making things right.

Yes, it's a crummy way to act. No, it's not unique. No, it's not excusable.

But if we sit and argue and condemn, who does that help? I've been getting into a book on Stoicism, and I can't help but wonder what the two of you wish to accomplish.

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3 minutes ago, JollyRoger6969 said:

That dont make it right and proper.

Judging someone's personal life isn't "right and proper" either.

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Just now, 6Xero9 said:

Judging someone's personal life isn't "right and proper" either.

No, that's just considered normal, We live in a strange day of age where the words "Express yourself" are preached wherever you may go, but judgemental vibes are spouted after every corner.

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Last time I saw a thread like this, it was by a certain use that I shan't discuss for reasons of my own disgust. I'll say only this; it's best to keep these things to yourself rather than post them to this kind of forum. I'm sure there are more appropriate places you can discuss this with people, but WoWS is a very odd choice.

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Umm just one question. WHY THE ACTUAL [edited] DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POST THIS ON A FORUM FOR A VIDEO GAME?

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1 minute ago, skull_122_steel said:

Umm just one question. WHY THE ACTUAL [edited] DID YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POST THIS ON A FORUM FOR A VIDEO GAME?

It's an off topic forum. I didn't realize we all coat checked our humanity at the door. My bad.

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Ahoy Fleet,

Normally I let a lot of stuff go on in the off-topic section however the direction of the post began precariously and the discussion can only lead to unrest and tension. 

Therefore I'm concluding this thread and advise everyone here involved a cooling off period to clear our heads.

This topic is emotionally charged so please think before posting on any threads or creating a new topic of discussion.

#anchorsaweigh

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