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Snargfargle

In Just Seven Days I Can Make You a Warship

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Inspired by @Lert

In Just Seven Days I Can Make You a Warship

A parody of "I Can Make You a Man" as sung by Tim Curry

A weakling, displacing ninety-eight tons
Will get stomped in his face
By the big ships in town
But soon in the drydock
Where the onlookers gawk
The oil from his bilgeholes
As he works for his cause

His paint will glisten
And gleam, and with some chipping
And just a little bit of steam
He'll be shiny and quite clean
He'll be a strong ship
Oh, honey!

But the wrong ship

His crew will eat nutritious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Sailors must build up their shoulders
Their chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort
I've a plan but I won't let it slip
In just seven days

I can make you a warship

He'll run a press-gang and sneak-up
Do the snatch, be a jerk
He thinks actual recruitment
Must be hard work
Such nefarious doings
Babe, they ain't all that hip

When in just seven days
Oh, baby

I can make you a warship

Edited by Snargfargle
  • Cool 2

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4 minutes ago, Snargfargle said:

Inspired by @Lert

In Just Seven Days I Can Make You a Warship

A parody of "I Can Make You a Man" as sung by Tim Curry

A weakling displacing ninety-eight tons
Will get stomped in his face
By the big ships in town
But soon in the drydock
Where the onlookers gawk
The oil from his bilgeholes
As he works for his cause

His paint will glisten
And gleam, and with some chipping
And just a little bit of steam
He'll be shiny and quite clean
He'll be a strong ship
Oh, honey!

But the wrong ship

His crew will eat nutritious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Sailors must build up their shoulders
Their chest, arms, and legs
Such an effort
I've a plan, but I won't let it slip
In just seven days

I can make you a warship

He'll run a press-gang and sneak-up
Do the snatch, be a jerk
He thinks actual recriutment
Must be hard work
Such nefaroious doings
Babe, they ain't so hip

When in just seven days
Oh, baby

I can make you a warship

I remember going and seeing that movie at the Alabama theatre in Houston at midnight. It was my girlfriend's birthday. Her dad was an assistant coach for the Astros and he rented her a limousine for the night. That was a good night.

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Just now, Ghostdog1355 said:

I remember going and seeing that movie at the Alabama theatre in Houston at midnight. It was my girlfriend's birthday. Her dad was an assistant coach for the Astros and he rented her a limousine for the night. That was a good night.

You get 2+ for that one.

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5 minutes ago, Ghostdog1355 said:

I remember going and seeing that movie at the Alabama theatre in Houston at midnight. It was my girlfriend's birthday. Her dad was an assistant coach for the Astros and he rented her a limousine for the night. That was a good night.

I first saw RHPS in the mid 70s when I was in the Army. I thought it was just another "B" movie that I'd kill a couple of hours watching on a weekend night at the post.  To my surprise, most of the NCOs and officers I knew were in line, and their wives too. I thought that there must be something to this move that I didn't know about. I wasn't wrong. The soundtrack is still one of my favorites. 

Edited by Snargfargle

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1 minute ago, Snargfargle said:

I first saw RHPS in the mid 70s when I was in the Army. I thought it was just another "B" movie that I'd kill a couple of hours watching on a weekend night at the post.  To my surprise, most of the NCOs and officers I knew were in line, and their wives too. I thought that there must be something to this move that I didn't know about. I wasn't wrong. The soundtrack is still one of my favorites. 

Yea we went full in with the toast, squirt guns etc. Had a blast that night. Drinking cheap wine and well....

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