True-blue Unicum (a WOWS Parody)

[Snargfargle]

True-blue Unicum (a WOWS Parody)

To the tune of "Flying Purple People Eater" by Sheb Wooley

Well, I saw something strange
In the forum one day
It was a big square box
In which just one color lay
I asked the poster what 
That color did mean
He said folks like him
Were a new player's dream

It was a shopworn unicorn
A purple siggy folklore
A well-learned, ne'r ignored
Topper of the leaderboard
An admired, ain't no coward
Overpowered praetor
Said, "learn the game from me"
Or cry

Well, I saw him in a game
On the opposite team 
I said, Mister Unicum, you
Can't beat me
I heard him say
In a voice so gruff,
I wouldn't be a-thinkn'
That you're so tough

It was a shopworn unicorn
A purple siggy folklore
A well-learned, ne'r ignored
Topper of the leaderboard
An admired, ain't no coward
Overpowered praetor
Said, "Your spanking will be rough"
Too tough

I said, Mister Unicum,
Now what's your line?
He said,
A-spankin' lesser players
Well, it sure is fine
But that ain't the reason 
That I play this game
I really don't much like
Puttin' nooblets to shame

It was a shopworn unicorn
A purple siggy folklore
A well-learned, ne'r ignored
Topper of the leaderboard
An admired, ain't no coward
Overpowered praetor
Said, "At game start you will see"
Play on

He then turned his ship,
Swung its guns around
And started to fire
What a dreadful sound
A "Devastating Strike"
Behind my name I did see
That darned unicum
Had single-shotted me

It was a shopworn unicorn
A purple siggy folklore
A well-learned, ne'r ignored
Topper of the leaderboard
An admired, ain't no coward
Overpowered praetor
Said, "Ya gotta do better, you see"
Get gud

He then went on his way
And then a what-a you know
I saw him last night
On a YouTube show
He was a-blowin' ships up
Really firin' them guns
I guess he really was
A true-blue Unicum 

[Snargfargle]

10 minutes ago, DESRON10 said:

somebody has way too much time on their hands

Well, I got the garden taken down and tilled, serviced all the machines and put them up for the winter, got the roof shingled and the windows replaced that the hail took out, cut and hauled a dozen or so trailer loads of dead tree limbs to the dump, hand-dug a 200-foot trench and installing a French drain so the basement won't flood next spring and finished reading the Nicomachean Ethics, so I guess there's not a whole lot to do around here for a while. I might look and see if I can't find a pattern online though. Haven't done much sewing other than to patch clothes but I have a brand-new grand niece and am thinking about making a toy frog for her to play with.