Jump to content
You need to play a total of 5 battles to post in this section.
Reymu

Video games and dating

21 comments in this topic

Recommended Posts

747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles

Once in a while, I recall one girl that used to be interested in me. Back when used to work at McDonald's, I was something of a favorite eye candy to the girls there as I gave it my all unlike most of the other guys. This particular girl seemed to take her Christian faith seriously and my impression is she'd seen plenty of otherwise handsome guys that cared more about whatever video game, and she basically decided that a guy who plays any sort of computer game must be a good-for-nothing.

 

If memory's accurate, she overheard my coworkers asking me if I play any computer games. Named a few, but that I didn't have much interest now as they basically are just a way to waste time; she vocally agreed with a firmness that was surprising (hence above thought about her). However, I was clear I still play them sometimes, if bored and have nothing else to do, and afterwards she basically refused to consider dating me at all.

 

Also remember reading in an UK article years ago about a single mother that is keen on marrying a guy, but her problem is every guy she's ever gotten to know, it's always the sort that has a PT job in warehouse, spends a lot of free time talking World of Warcraft or whatever games he's into, and she simply refuses to date those guys on the grounds they're not husband material. Her complaining can be summed as "where have all the good men gone?"

 

Forget which forumites, but have seen several post that they play WOWS in their free time after work and family obligations completed. Nothing to indicate wife has a problem with her hubby enjoying digital ships.

 

For my part, it just seems to depend on the guy's intent if he still plays computer games when dating a girl. If she's around just as a cute body or caretaker or something selfish, then yeah, he's too into virtual worlds to know difference between reality and fantasy, so no way is he husband material. On the other hand, if he does them on the side, preferring them as a way to relax (time permitting) and keeps it reasonable, then he's got the self-control needed for dating; he can put aside his level 99 toons and focus on making her happy, and if the relationship gets serious, he can maintain this discipline.

 

As I understand it, video games are generally interactions with virtual worlds, so they're not suited to dating, but in moderation, they're acceptable. Any adult woman should easily understand the self-restraint as well as the fact that in limited amounts like any fun activity, video games are an acceptable part of life.

 

Wondering what your thoughts/experience are on this matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1,118
[NDA]
Supertester
3,896 posts
1,479 battles
23 minutes ago, Reymu said:

As I understand it, video games are generally interactions with virtual worlds, so they're not suited to dating, but in moderation, they're acceptable. Any adult woman should easily understand the self-restraint as well as the fact that in limited amounts like any fun activity, video games are an acceptable part of life.

This pretty much applies to everything.  Everything in moderation.  Too much of anything can be bad.

Unfortunately, my wife shares the opinion of your former co-worker, which means my gaming is pretty much limited to when she's already asleep. :/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
49
[GWG]
Members
163 posts
3,483 battles

My wife "gets it" regarding my time spent playing video games... as long as I'm not crazy about it and do not neglect my other responsibilities around the house and our families. She's been with me for Freelancer, Guild Wars, Star Wars Galaxies & Old Republic, Conan - Unchaned, LotRO and now WoWS.

After a day spent working, it's a good way to blow off some steam and socialize with some on-line friends. Of course, she has a few You-tubers she follows herself (for Nail Art), so we sit on opposite ends of the couch and do our respective things. We're together, but doing our own separate things.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
554
[CVA16]
Members
2,750 posts
6,254 battles

Kerensky sums it up. Everything in moderation. My wife likes to play her games on her IPad so I time my playing when she is. She also spends about a week each month in Dallas so get about 2 hours after work. NEVER sit at the table playing any Video game on a Saturday afternoon unless it's raining and she's watching TV or sick in bed. My personal rule there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,489
[PSP]
Members
6,044 posts
8,585 battles

For several years now non-gamers have been in the minority where computer users are concerned. Games used to bring families together. Now kids mostly play their own online games. There is a time for games and a time to tend to things in the "real" world. However, if a potential spouse forbids all games then it's probably best to look elsewhere as that's just going to be the tip of the iceberg where your problems with him/her are going to be concerned. Gaming is a part of most people's lives and has been for all of written history and probably for tens of thousands of years before. The only people I've ever known who refused to play any games at all were the "drink the kool-aid" types. In fact, it's not just humans that game. I've seen several species of mammals invent and play games. Juvenile mammals play games as a way of learning about life and testing their developing abilities. 

Edited by Snargfargle

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles
2 hours ago, kerensky914 said:

This pretty much applies to everything.  Everything in moderation.  Too much of anything can be bad.

Unfortunately, my wife shares the opinion of your former co-worker, which means my gaming is pretty much limited to when she's already asleep. :/

In which case, worth considering discussing when you do your games. Block out a few set days with hours, and keep track of how long this week you've done virtual games, and share your success or failure at self-restraint with her, and what you've come up with to better follow it (if applicable). Then again, you already seem to have it well in hand anyway.

 

Or so I think--I'm an open-minded guy and stuff, but at times, it's painful because other person just doesn't want to reconsider his or her position.

 

1 hour ago, Snargfargle said:

For several years now non-gamers have been in the minority where computer users are concerned. Games used to bring families together. Now kids mostly play their own online games. There is a time for games and a time to tend to things in the "real" world. However, if a potential spouse forbids all games then it's probably best to look elsewhere as that's just going to be the tip of the iceberg where your problems with him/her are going to be concerned. Gaming is a part of most people's lives and has been for all of written history and probably for tens of thousands of years before. The only people I've ever known who refused to play any games at all were the "drink the kool-aid" types. In fact, it's not just humans that game. I've seen several species of mammals invent and play games. Juvenile mammals play games as a way of learning about life and testing their developing abilities. 

Everyone in my circle of friends and family seems to have at least one game he/she enjoys, but always in moderation.

 

Not sure a potential spouse forbidding all video/computer games is necessarily little more than a source of problems...unless maybe it's that need to feel in control of things? The impression from my former co-worker is simply a wary concern that said person who plays video games can only be addicted to them.

 

Course, I'm not planning to try reconnecting with her. In moderation, games are completely acceptable, but her attitude from back then was completely opposed to being around them. Seems the sort of person who needs time to figure out she's got her head backwards.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,752
[FOXEH]
Beta Testers
6,103 posts
1,313 battles

You see, this is why its actually beneficial to be gay when it comes to this stuff! I dont have to worry some chick not liking me because I like playing video games. A guy wouldn't care about that, and may even want to join and play with me. =P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,309
[-TAB-]
Members
1,597 posts
5,126 battles

I probably have as many ex's and ex GFs as most of you combined, so I am pretty much a legend as far as what not to do. click if you would like to know more...

  • Cool 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles
1 hour ago, Kitsunelegend said:

You see, this is why its actually beneficial to be gay when it comes to this stuff! I dont have to worry some chick not liking me because I like playing video games. A guy wouldn't care about that, and may even want to join and play with me. =P

Makes sense, if your concerns about your welfare are strictly limited to until your body dies. However, I think in terms of eternity and soul, so something self-serving like being a [edited] makes no sense; after logging so many weeks of just that, on your deathbed, it'll be plain it was all about pleasing yourself, and ergo worthless. I mean, the whole [edited] thing seems all about making a mere feeling, which has no self-awareness nor form we can touch, a god, so there's no lasting value or benefit aside from the distraction it offers.

 

1 hour ago, not_acceptable said:

I probably have as many ex's and ex GFs as most of you combined, so I am pretty much a legend as far as what not to do. click if you would like to know more...

Perhaps you should elaborate to give us a reason to express curiosity?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Beta Testers
1,222 posts
8,398 battles

I know a lot of married guys who game, but it's done in moderation. As far as their wife is concerned it's just as annoying and pointless as being clamped in front of a tv watching football. 

College age girls are easy to impress by showing you can provide. Nothing tricky about them at all. College age guys who work an extra pt time job and come off as ambitious vs sit in their parents basement and game are going to get the pick of the herd. It's Darwin....deal with it.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
587
[ARRGG]
Members
4,681 posts
7,503 battles
11 hours ago, Reymu said:

Once in a while, I recall one girl that used to be interested in me. Back when used to work at McDonald's, I was something of a favorite eye candy to the girls there as I gave it my all unlike most of the other guys. This particular girl seemed to take her Christian faith seriously and my impression is she'd seen plenty of otherwise handsome guys that cared more about whatever video game, and she basically decided that a guy who plays any sort of computer game must be a good-for-nothing.

 

If memory's accurate, she overheard my coworkers asking me if I play any computer games. Named a few, but that I didn't have much interest now as they basically are just a way to waste time; she vocally agreed with a firmness that was surprising (hence above thought about her). However, I was clear I still play them sometimes, if bored and have nothing else to do, and afterwards she basically refused to consider dating me at all.

 

Also remember reading in an UK article years ago about a single mother that is keen on marrying a guy, but her problem is every guy she's ever gotten to know, it's always the sort that has a PT job in warehouse, spends a lot of free time talking World of Warcraft or whatever games he's into, and she simply refuses to date those guys on the grounds they're not husband material. Her complaining can be summed as "where have all the good men gone?"

 

Forget which forumites, but have seen several post that they play WOWS in their free time after work and family obligations completed. Nothing to indicate wife has a problem with her hubby enjoying digital ships.

 

For my part, it just seems to depend on the guy's intent if he still plays computer games when dating a girl. If she's around just as a cute body or caretaker or something selfish, then yeah, he's too into virtual worlds to know difference between reality and fantasy, so no way is he husband material. On the other hand, if he does them on the side, preferring them as a way to relax (time permitting) and keeps it reasonable, then he's got the self-control needed for dating; he can put aside his level 99 toons and focus on making her happy, and if the relationship gets serious, he can maintain this discipline.

 

As I understand it, video games are generally interactions with virtual worlds, so they're not suited to dating, but in moderation, they're acceptable. Any adult woman should easily understand the self-restraint as well as the fact that in limited amounts like any fun activity, video games are an acceptable part of life.

 

Wondering what your thoughts/experience are on this matter.

I’m an older guy so really I have no freaken idea what your talking about ... however I did read somewhere ..possibly here that the younger dating crowd who do play a lot of video games tend to get food stuck in there teeth so when you give that big smile .... we’ll you get the picture 

these are some of the things that may help when in a datable lady’s presence...always brush after every meal.. no farting, be a gentleman, like puppies and for God sakes don’t pick yer nose

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Members
2,614 posts
3,569 battles

I am a pretty hard core gamer.

 

I too have noticed that when you are playing the dating game, any mention of video games can be a major turn off, seems to most may be due to the amount of time they can sop up, and the perceived nerdyness. (Let's be honest here, nerd is still not an attractive stereotype to many women, even though we have better income potential with more stable jobs)

 

But, not only being a hard core gamer, I am also into several other hobbies, albeit not as passionately. Such as muscle cars, photography and shooting.

 

Even though I put now where near as much time into those three combine as I do gaming. They are all far more expensive.

 

I fail to see how somebody can be upset with spending a large portion of your free time on a pretty affordable game.

 

But not upset with the significant other / husband that spends 60-80 hours a week, outside of work, and tens of thousands of dollars, building a hot rod.

 

I don't get it...

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,752
[FOXEH]
Beta Testers
6,103 posts
1,313 battles
11 hours ago, Reymu said:

Makes sense, if your concerns about your welfare are strictly limited to until your body dies. However, I think in terms of eternity and soul, so something self-serving like being a [edited] makes no sense; after logging so many weeks of just that, on your deathbed, it'll be plain it was all about pleasing yourself, and ergo worthless. I mean, the whole [edited] thing seems all about making a mere feeling, which has no self-awareness nor form we can touch, a god, so there's no lasting value or benefit aside from the distraction it offers.

 

Perhaps you should elaborate to give us a reason to express curiosity?

If I'm understanding you correctly, you do know that adoption and surrogacy is a thing, right? Its not at all being "self serving". Its called "liking who I like because thats the way I am".

 

Also, I prefer gay, not [insert name for bundle of wood]. I only use [insert name for bundle of wood] with very close friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles
14 minutes ago, Kitsunelegend said:

If I'm understanding you correctly, you do know that adoption and surrogacy is a thing, right? Its not at all being "self serving". Its called "liking who I like because thats the way I am".

 

Also, I prefer gay, not [insert name for bundle of wood]. I only use [insert name for bundle of wood] with very close friends.

I don't buy self-propaganda because had an excellent philosophy instructor that taught his classes how to have a love of learning, which extended into basically everything. No subject is taboo, and any reasonable question deserves an answer, regardless if it offends people. If unwilling to explore a topic, it usually seems to be from fear of learning about said topic.

 

[edited], to me, is merely a same-sex attraction. Just a feeling. What you're saying, as I gather, is simply that it's worth praising somehow, it's a god, we oughta pamper it with our praise because it's our reason for living. Right?

 

But there are a few interesting traits. Firstly, it's a feeling. Therefore, no self-awareness, and ergo, it's not alive. No heartbeat to measure, nor breathing. I would naturally expect, if it's a god, surely that implies it's alive in a way we can sense w/ our bodies, and surely said god will have communicated with us, and its followers will have records or oral traditions, something to prove it. Same-sex attraction has, thus far, offered no such evidence. So what makes this mere feeling worthy of such praise? Anger is another feeling, but nobody has a cult praising it. Satisfaction is another, but again, no different.

 

Secondly, it's intentionally closed to new life. Seed and garden needed to conceieve a child; biology tells us plainly that if it's 2 seeds or 2 gardens, then nothing happens. Human race seems to have survived not just through technology, but also learning; ancient times, you're a legend if live to be 50 years old, whereas today getting past 80 can be done for many. However, nobody can escape death, so to ensure survival, we have children. Significant lack of any openly homosexual figures in humanity's history, and part of it appears to be simple fact that people saw no survival in being a [edited]--you'll take another same-sex partner, and have 0 kids to replace you when you both die, in essence, you become a dead end in the family tree. Adoption and surrogacy do not change the fact that a [edited] union uses sex contrary to God's plan.

 

Finally, I carry this spiritual disorder. Had it since 15 years. And like those in Courage, a group dedicated to people experiencing same-sex attraction that want to learn to live virtuously with it, I redirect it to productive activities like this debate. I analyzed my choices (embrace it as the self-proclaimed homosexuals, suppress it, or redirect its energy) and considered the pros and cons of each. Tell me, are there any financial or economic benefits to being a practicing homosexual? Nobody gets a pay raise simply for bragging about it, and there is little or no evidence to suggest that being openly homosexual can alter money or economic laws for material gain. The whole thing seems purely about "hey, I'm so special because have this attraction, you should praise me."

 

As far as I am aware, strictly from deductive reasoning and hard facts, it appears to be self-centered by intent and design, as well as a mere distraction at best. It does offend quite a few people, same as their getting emotional in a trial where they have great emotional investment in seeing a certain outcome, and all that clouded thinking is shallow and cannot be your best, so I merely share how I reached my conclusion and challenge them to prove it flawed in some way. Just saying "well you're wrong/homophobic" merely means I've won the argument because said person has given up trying to have a reasonable debate.

 

2 hours ago, twitch133 said:

I am a pretty hard core gamer.

 

I too have noticed that when you are playing the dating game, any mention of video games can be a major turn off, seems to most may be due to the amount of time they can sop up, and the perceived nerdyness. (Let's be honest here, nerd is still not an attractive stereotype to many women, even though we have better income potential with more stable jobs)

 

But, not only being a hard core gamer, I am also into several other hobbies, albeit not as passionately. Such as muscle cars, photography and shooting.

 

Even though I put now where near as much time into those three combine as I do gaming. They are all far more expensive.

 

I fail to see how somebody can be upset with spending a large portion of your free time on a pretty affordable game.

 

But not upset with the significant other / husband that spends 60-80 hours a week, outside of work, and tens of thousands of dollars, building a hot rod.

 

I don't get it...

 

Probably more of a gamer than I am, it sounds like. Then let me ask this: do girls have any preference as to the "why" he plays computer games? Merely to spend free time, I think, would turn them off because she wants attention, not competing with a hobby.

 

But she might be more appreciative of them if they're more than a "fun distraction." I do WOWS mostly because it's a strategy game, you have to use the ship to her limits and think like an Uchiha. I like my playtime to have some challenge, not mindlessly grab a sci-fi gun and blow up 500 monsters.

 

I mean, used to play computer games just for fun. Army Men series, Heroes of the Pacific, and whatnot, but games that challenge me to adapt and think ahead became more appealing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Members
2,614 posts
3,569 battles
1 minute ago, Reymu said:

Probably more of a gamer than I am, it sounds like. Then let me ask this: do girls have any preference as to the "why" he plays computer games? Merely to spend free time, I think, would turn them off because she wants attention, not competing with a hobby.

 

But she might be more appreciative of them if they're more than a "fun distraction." I do WOWS mostly because it's a strategy game, you have to use the ship to her limits and think like an Uchiha. I like my playtime to have some challenge, not mindlessly grab a sci-fi gun and blow up 500 monsters.

 

I mean, used to play computer games just for fun. Army Men series, Heroes of the Pacific, and whatnot, but games that challenge me to adapt and think ahead became more appealing.

 

As far as I can tell, there is no difference in the reason for playing video games that make it any different in the eyes of a potential partner that will make them less unappealing.

 

The equation seems to be fairly straightforward at (Video games = nerd [Poindexter stereotype, coke bottle glasses, pocket protector, and a nasty lisp] = less attractive.)

 

Even though there is a considerable difference between somebody who is passionately into video games, vs somebody who passionately follows football, or baseball or NASCAR.

 

The difference being, the gamer lives his passion, where as the sports fanatic worships the ground that someone he will never meet walks on. The performance of somebody that he will never know can ruin his whole week, and negatively affect his relationships with everybody around him. Even though he will never be a QG, never be a forward or a driver.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,752
[FOXEH]
Beta Testers
6,103 posts
1,313 battles
13 minutes ago, Reymu said:

 

Ok first off, I myself was adopted, so dont give me that tripe about how adoption doesn't count for continuing the family name or whatever. Especially in this day and age, blood isn't everything. And no, my parents are not same sex, but I STILL consider them my parents. I STILL consider myself their child. They still see me as their son, and love me just as much as any parent would.

 

Secondly, dude... I was making a joke about me being gay meant I dont have to worry some special lady friend nagging me to death about playing video games, and you turned it into some massive thing about religion and philosophy and shite. And on an internet forum no less lol

 

And third, that name you're using? I dont like it because its used as a very derogatory term by people who are strongly against same sex couples. Much like the N word is used in much the same way. So I kindly ask you to stop using it, please.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles
15 minutes ago, twitch133 said:

 

As far as I can tell, there is no difference in the reason for playing video games that make it any different in the eyes of a potential partner that will make them less unappealing.

 

The equation seems to be fairly straightforward at (Video games = nerd [Poindexter stereotype, coke bottle glasses, pocket protector, and a nasty lisp] = less attractive.)

 

Even though there is a considerable difference between somebody who is passionately into video games, vs somebody who passionately follows football, or baseball or NASCAR.

 

The difference being, the gamer lives his passion, where as the sports fanatic worships the ground that someone he will never meet walks on. The performance of somebody that he will never know can ruin his whole week, and negatively affect his relationships with everybody around him. Even though he will never be a QG, never be a forward or a driver.

So simply speaking, just one of those oddities about a potential spouse. Guess that makes sense. Comprehension's not one of my best talents, since tend to think abstractly.

 

5 minutes ago, Kitsunelegend said:

Ok first off, I myself was adopted, so dont give me that tripe about how adoption doesn't count for continuing the family name or whatever. Especially in this day and age, blood isn't everything. And no, my parents are not same sex, but I STILL consider them my parents. I STILL consider myself their child. They still see me as their son, and love me just as much as any parent would.

 

Secondly, dude... I was making a joke about me being gay meant I dont have to worry some special lady friend nagging me to death about playing video games, and you turned it into some massive thing about religion and philosophy and shite. And on an internet forum no less lol

 

And third, that name you're using? I dont like it because its used as a very derogatory term by people who are strongly against same sex couples. Much like the N word is used in much the same way. So I kindly ask you to stop using it, please.

What of it? With all the loopholes and difficulty involved in adoption, it seems to be rare, but it happens if the husband and wife are able and willing to defeat the obstacles. Whether it carries on family name is their concern.

 

Homosexuality is not a joking matter to me. After PHL instructor's lessons and discovering emotional self-control from using mine, doubt I could ever have a laugh about it. One of the serious topics that's helped me with being calm and focused on facts whenever my dander's up. My temper is pretty vicious...metaphorically, I'm restraining a 5-ton bull with one hand a lot. So the self-control has been a lifesaver, thus take humor on it poorly--but maybe have yet to learn that.

 

Offending people is never the final step. It's an opportunity to see if other person has self-control enough to be civil (which you're doing pretty well). I also rely on Merriam-Webster dictionary for vocabulary, and use the word that best describes whatever action, object, or sensation by its nature. Chair's meant for sitting on, and girl will eventually grow boobs, philosophy wonder about everything, and so on. My approach is strictly to deal with facts, never mind if people get irritated. If the word describes a same-sex couple as doing evil, and objectively that proves to be the case, then no reason not to use it, as everyone like me needs constant reminders that part of being a good person is recognizing good and evil by their fruits, and of course responding appropriately.

 

But don't worry that about that last part. After throwing very difficult anger and similar rage to the wind multiple times, especially last 2 years, I basically am level-headed whatever the situation and no longer notice emotional reactions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,752
[FOXEH]
Beta Testers
6,103 posts
1,313 battles
2 minutes ago, Reymu said:

So simply speaking, just one of those oddities about a potential spouse. Guess that makes sense. Comprehension's not one of my best talents, since tend to think abstractly.

 

What of it? With all the loopholes and difficulty involved in adoption, it seems to be rare, but it happens if the husband and wife are able and willing to defeat the obstacles. Whether it carries on family name is their concern.

 

Homosexuality is not a joking matter to me. After PHL instructor's lessons and discovering emotional self-control from using mine, doubt I could ever have a laugh about it. One of the serious topics that's helped me with being calm and focused on facts whenever my dander's up. My temper is pretty vicious...metaphorically, I'm restraining a 5-ton bull with one hand a lot. So the self-control has been a lifesaver, thus take humor on it poorly--but maybe have yet to learn that.

 

Offending people is never the final step. It's an opportunity to see if other person has self-control enough to be civil (which you're doing pretty well). I also rely on Merriam-Webster dictionary for vocabulary, and use the word that best describes whatever action, object, or sensation by its nature. Chair's meant for sitting on, and girl will eventually grow boobs, philosophy wonder about everything, and so on. My approach is strictly to deal with facts, never mind if people get irritated. If the word describes a same-sex couple as doing evil, and objectively that proves to be the case, then no reason not to use it, as everyone like me needs constant reminders that part of being a good person is recognizing good and evil by their fruits, and of course responding appropriately.

 

But don't worry that about that last part. After throwing very difficult anger and similar rage to the wind multiple times, especially last 2 years, I basically am level-headed whatever the situation and no longer notice emotional reactions.

Lordy, you must be a blast at parties huh?

 

Oy vey...

miOJiI7.gif

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
747
[NG-NL]
Members
4,971 posts
8,124 battles
3 hours ago, Kitsunelegend said:

Lordy, you must be a blast at parties huh?

 

Oy vey...

miOJiI7.gif

Then lets just agree to disagree?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2,309
[-TAB-]
Members
1,597 posts
5,126 battles
22 hours ago, Reymu said:

Perhaps you should elaborate to give us a reason to express curiosity?

the exchange of whatever is being exchanged in this thread has _______ (I just don't know) me to the point where I am not comfortable in any way shape or form typing anything that would generate any curiosity about anything except sinking red ships. please continue having fun doing whatever the [edited] it is you're doing.

  • Cool 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×