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Spud_butt

Take a moment...

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a blank stare in the mirror.

dilated pupils, puffy red oozing eyelids.

facial twitches, quivering mouse hand. adrenalin nausea.

I acknowledge it. I own it. i'm addicted.

butt rejoice, there is Hope!! ah, but she walks by every day about this time, and no longer bothers to turn her head to the unshaven shell of a man peeking out the drawn curtains. she used to smile and wave. now, nothing. she knows there is litte remaining of the vibrant, happy soul that used to skip lightly out of the shadows, traipsing without gravity, spinning effortlessly, making all around laugh and smile. now soulless, dark. the crushing realization returns. futility. loss.

bad stats.

'we' have started the izumo grind. we just had to have YA MA TO. creeping doubts are eroding the motivation. maybe zao is enuff? maybe shima is enuff? fletcher's fun. kurfurst is a blast. what am I doing? why am I here? what is the purpose of life? do I still have my job? will my car start? what are all these phone calls and messages? what's my email password? how can I possibly have 307 unread texts? is 3 hrs of sleep a week enuff? remember food? what have I done?

izumo fun facts: I refer to her as the big pig that can't. 8 battles before I broke even in a battle for XP. 11 battles before a kill. 13 battles before a win. those same 13 battles before I earned enough XP for a module. had to fight other ships in order to earn enuff credits to buy the module. it's for longer range, the cheapest one. the shells take so long to get there, even other izumo's can dodge. average 5 min in battle before getting a hit. that bounces.

the doubts are starting to creep and spread. I just joined the best ever clam in the history of gaming! POPCORN. last nite, I was on, and read the clam requirements. the one that really got my attention is 'play a minimum of 4 days a week.' O M G that's like 92 hours. I already average a bit over 100 hrs/wk, between time in battle, staring at stuff in port I can't afford, rageselling boats I suck in. for credits, and here in the forum.

this includes watching replays, which Lert told me to do. I watch them all. so far, I can't even begin to figure out what i'm supposed to be looking for. the team still sucks, and it's all their fault. watching a replay is not going to change that.

obviously, I need help, and you can help !! please help, before it's too late. (ed. note: uh, evident time distortion?) nuttybiscuit assigned me to recruiting for the fleet battle group task force clam. so far, I have not recruited a single player. some of you may be thinking "well, you are functioning at the same level at that as you do everything else in the game, not a shocker." while true, this is hurtful to my feeling. my one, remaining, wounded littul feeling.

POPCORN NEEDS YOUR OIL. JOIN, PLAY, EARN OIL, GIVE IT ALL TO US! WE WON'T BE SORRY!!

hot.png.fe8f4f78b851c238ac11bef14f1b5b3b.png

Edited by not_acceptable
after the fact, i wanted to apologize for nothing. NOTHING!! I'M NOT SORRY
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22 minutes ago, not_acceptable said:

I have not recruited a single player.

Not directly,..

22 minutes ago, not_acceptable said:

'play a minimum of 4 days a week.

I We aspire to a productivity level of 10 days a week of popcorn production, but I we have been reliably informed it would be unethical and technically against the laws of the physics of the Earth's rotation vis the Sun to force this of clam fodder members.

Btw we have new members in need of training to our clam standards, can you do that in your spare time? (You waste far too much on sleep,)

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The Specter Fleet [SPTR] is an eco-friendly clan and is strictly against lavish use of fossil fuel.

Still, we salute you, and see you on the high seas!

Good luck with the Izumo grind!

Spoiler

When clan battle begins, I'll be happy to greet you all...in pieces...

strong-tanya-devil-of-the-rhine-degurechaff-saga-of-tanya--7.jpg

 

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51 minutes ago, not_acceptable said:

I have not recruited a single player. some of you may be thinking "well, you are functioning at the same level at that as you do everything else in the game, not a shocker." while true, this is hurtful to my feeling. my one, remaining, wounded littul feeling.

Well you pretty much roped me into the popcorn monkey clam clan with your onanistic prose lamentations. I look into the mirror, bleary-eyed every morning, and say "You know nothing Jon Snow." Try it, it might help.

As for the Izumo I liked the awkward beast, a sort of George Chuvalo heavy hitter that doesn't mind taking a beating in order to dish one out. It doesn't conjure up a nice image but I referred to the ship as "King Wedgie." I happen to like "mullet BBS" (heavy hitting up front, secondary party in the rear), but then I often take a perverse pleasure in going into battle on one of these ships I am enamoured with, but also suck at.

[I don't usually refer to my stats but you got me curious about the Izumo--40 battles in her before I sold her to get the Yamato--55% WR which is good for me. I still miss King Wedgie]

Edited by Stauffenberg44
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