MrDeaf's guide on how to play like a potato

[MrDeaf]

Follow these steps and you will become a Potato, any day of the week!

 

First, it's important to have the proper peripheral setup.

1. Acquire potato internet (remember, there is a Goldilocks zone of 150~250ms ping)
2. Make sure to use Wifi on at least one hop between your PC and internet.
3. If you have a trackpad, it is highly recommended to use that
4. Make sure you don't have a stable platform for your keyboard (e.g. your lap)
5. Even better if your keyboard is also Wifi/BT
6. Ensure <60fps (If your PC is too hardcore and cannot keep under 60fps, use a weaker video card)

 

Second, it's highly recommended that you play with the proper mentality

1. DO YOLO into caps
2. DO fight against the wrong ships (i.e. when you are a DD, make sure to go after cruisers in plain sight)
3. There is no priority killing order, shoot whatever comes into your screen first and ignore everything else
4. Spray and pray, there's no need to aim that well
5. Remember to not use WASD too furiously, as this might destabilize the unstable keyboard in your lap
6. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer
7. If, in the case you are unable to drink alcohol or you are a minor, it is recommended to take a sleeping pill or administer a shot of morphine into yourself

[pmgaudio]

[bullittmcqueen]

I like the list but would like to add one of the most important pro-tips: always turn full broadside to expose all your guns so that you can deal the maximum amount of damage to your target, especially in cruisers since you will need all those guns to deal damage to those BBs. 

 

[cheereereerios]

Make sure to then blame your team for being lemmings/cowards/idiots, do it in all-chat so your doppelganger on the other team can join in, make sure some uncouth profanity is directed at random allies, call the enemy hacks and threaten to report them...

[Yoshiblue]

Play US BB. Easiest to autopilot in. 

[MrDeaf]

I like the list but would like to add one of the most important pro-tips: always turn full broadside to expose all your guns so that you can deal the maximum amount of damage to your target, especially in cruisers since you will need all those guns to deal damage to those BBs. 

 

nah, not necessary.

If you YOLO when you should, broadside or not, you will sink like a swift African potato

 

I should know, I'm totally playing like a potato today.

[Spyde]

Race to the cap in your DD.  Stop.. Use smoke.. DO NOT MOVE.   stay in your 1 puff until you cap.

[SweetRollThief]

This may be considered advanced potato techniques:

 

Use islands to abruptly reduce your speed to zero so enemy shells miss you. Try to do this with as many ships targeting you as possible for maximum effect. 

 

 

 

 

[Blutbad]

 Addendum if I may:  + WASD nothing (what is that anyway?)  just go in a straight line till you reach a red line then hang out there for the rest of the match.

                                   + got torps? great fire them indiscriminately remember its the morons fault ahead of you that keep running into them

                                   + if some idiot on your team gets the kill you had your eyes on, and did not wait for you berate him vehemently and consider taking at least a shot at him.

                                   + if some of your teammates call for cap (cause you are the only one left) after hanging on the red line don't listen to them after all they are dead and you still live

[_Fantomex_]

Tsk, I only meet three of the recommended potato peripheral requirements. Better try harder.

[Estimated_Prophet]

This may be considered advanced potato techniques:

 

Use islands to abruptly reduce your speed to zero so enemy shells miss you. Try to do this with as many ships targeting you as possible for maximum effect. 

 

On a slightly more serious note; the best part about doing this is to ground/stop near the corner of an island; smoke up; then get moving again around the corner and have fun watching all the torpedoes and shells trying to sink the corner of the island.

[DoomStomper]

1. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer

 

Oh, that one's pretty much a prerequisite for me with any online game.

 

Putting up with strangers in a competitive environment while sober?  Nope. 

[Ace_04]

If Unicums get purple as a color, can Potatoes get their own hue?

[Irishwind]

Don't forget to fail platoon in tier 3-5 with a team mate who wallet warriored a tier 8 ship.  Extra bonus points if a third hops in in a tier 1 ship!

[MrDeaf]

If Unicums get purple as a color, can Potatoes get their own hue?

 

It's clearly hashed brown.

[atPrick__]

I'm taking notes, thank you.

 

I am only Potato, this is Advanced Potato

[DOCTOR_CITADEL]

Follow these steps and you will become a Potato, any day of the week!

 

First, it's important to have the proper peripheral setup.

1. Acquire potato internet (remember, there is a Goldilocks zone of 150~250ms ping)
2. Make sure to use Wifi on at least one hop between your PC and internet.
3. If you have a trackpad, it is highly recommended to use that
4. Make sure you don't have a stable platform for your keyboard (e.g. your lap)
5. Even better if your keyboard is also Wifi/BT
6. Ensure <60fps (If your PC is too hardcore and cannot keep under 60fps, use a weaker video card)

 

Second, it's highly recommended that you play with the proper mentality

1. DO YOLO into caps
2. DO fight against the wrong ships (i.e. when you are a DD, make sure to go after cruisers in plain sight)
3. There is no priority killing order, shoot whatever comes into your screen first and ignore everything else
4. Spray and pray, there's no need to aim that well
5. Remember to not use WASD too furiously, as this might destabilize the unstable keyboard in your lap
6. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer
7. If, in the case you are unable to drink alcohol or you are a minor, it is recommended to take a sleeping pill or administer a shot of morphine into yourself

 

Section I: 

• 2) check
• 6) check

 

Section II: 

• 1) check
• 4) check
• 6) & 7) check and check (you are supposed to combine these two, right? RIGHT? Guys... I can't feel the left side of my face!)

 

 

I wonder what I could do if I:

• didn't play on a laptop with an integrated graphics card at 25-30 fps on the lowest settings (looks like Super Mario) 
• didn't have internet at 100ms ping (backwoods internet)
• had an ethernet cord that reached my router (I'm cheap)

 

 

[twitch133]

Follow these steps and you will become a Potato, any day of the week!

 

First, it's important to have the proper peripheral setup.

1. Acquire potato internet (remember, there is a Goldilocks zone of 150~250ms ping)
2. Make sure to use Wifi on at least one hop between your PC and internet.
3. If you have a trackpad, it is highly recommended to use that
4. Make sure you don't have a stable platform for your keyboard (e.g. your lap)
5. Even better if your keyboard is also Wifi/BT
6. Ensure <60fps (If your PC is too hardcore and cannot keep under 60fps, use a weaker video card)

 

Second, it's highly recommended that you play with the proper mentality

1. DO YOLO into caps
2. DO fight against the wrong ships (i.e. when you are a DD, make sure to go after cruisers in plain sight)
3. There is no priority killing order, shoot whatever comes into your screen first and ignore everything else
4. Spray and pray, there's no need to aim that well
5. Remember to not use WASD too furiously, as this might destabilize the unstable keyboard in your lap
6. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer
7. If, in the case you are unable to drink alcohol or you are a minor, it is recommended to take a sleeping pill or administer a shot of morphine into yourself

I'll pull a Doctor style reply here... lol.

 

I can't help you with section 1. My rig, even though it was built two years ago, around at least the next few generations of AAA shooters. 

 

Section two though....

1) It is only a yolo if you don't succeed.

2) There is no enemy too strong for mighty Khabarovsk. I fear no cruiser!! All is as Stalin wills it!

3) Accuracy though volume.

6) I frequently drink while gaming, it makes me better

 

 

Section I: 

• 2) check
• 6) check

 

Section II: 

• 1) check
• 4) check
• 6) & 7) check and check (you are supposed to combine these two, right? RIGHT? Guys... I can't feel the left side of my face!)

 

 

I wonder what I could do if I:

• didn't play on a laptop with an integrated graphics card at 25-30 fps on the lowest settings (looks like Super Mario) 
• didn't have internet at 100ms ping (backwoods internet)
• had an ethernet cord that reached my router (I'm cheap)

 

 

 

I'm not sure it would make too much of a difference. This is not a fast paced twitchy shooter, where the time to kill is in the sub second range.

 

A stronger rig, while it will be significantly more comfortable to game on, it will not likely make a difference in you performance.

[Aivris]

Instructions are unclear. I accidentally torpedoed myself with the Mutsu.

[atPrick__]

Instructions are unclear. I accidentally torpedoed myself with the Mutsu.

 

 

lewd

[Irishwind]

Of coarse it is fun to uber-potato.  I'm on a laptop (no real video card), over seas, with a WiFi in the BOQ.  And in an SMS EMDEN be the top player on the winning team.

 

I only did that so I can get the St Patrick's Day flag for my C-Class UK Cruiser.

[SinisterSe7en]

Follow these steps and you will become a Potato, any day of the week!

 

First, it's important to have the proper peripheral setup.

1. Acquire potato internet (remember, there is a Goldilocks zone of 150~250ms ping)
2. Make sure to use Wifi on at least one hop between your PC and internet.
3. If you have a trackpad, it is highly recommended to use that
4. Make sure you don't have a stable platform for your keyboard (e.g. your lap)
5. Even better if your keyboard is also Wifi/BT
6. Ensure <60fps (If your PC is too hardcore and cannot keep under 60fps, use a weaker video card)

 

Second, it's highly recommended that you play with the proper mentality

1. DO YOLO into caps
2. DO fight against the wrong ships (i.e. when you are a DD, make sure to go after cruisers in plain sight)
3. There is no priority killing order, shoot whatever comes into your screen first and ignore everything else
4. Spray and pray, there's no need to aim that well
5. Remember to not use WASD too furiously, as this might destabilize the unstable keyboard in your lap
6. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer
7. If, in the case you are unable to drink alcohol or you are a minor, it is recommended to take a sleeping pill or administer a shot of morphine into yourself

 

8. after dying, flame your team as much as possible and blame them for your death, as if *they* sunk you. how dare they survive when the lord yolo, has sunk. Also blame them for literally everything and anything.

[Shadow_1964]

Follow these steps and you will become a Potato, any day of the week!

 

First, it's important to have the proper peripheral setup.

1. Acquire potato internet (remember, there is a Goldilocks zone of 150~250ms ping)
2. Make sure to use Wifi on at least one hop between your PC and internet.
3. If you have a trackpad, it is highly recommended to use that
4. Make sure you don't have a stable platform for your keyboard (e.g. your lap)
5. Even better if your keyboard is also Wifi/BT
6. Ensure <60fps (If your PC is too hardcore and cannot keep under 60fps, use a weaker video card)

 

Second, it's highly recommended that you play with the proper mentality

1. DO YOLO into caps
2. DO fight against the wrong ships (i.e. when you are a DD, make sure to go after cruisers in plain sight)
3. There is no priority killing order, shoot whatever comes into your screen first and ignore everything else
4. Spray and pray, there's no need to aim that well
5. Remember to not use WASD too furiously, as this might destabilize the unstable keyboard in your lap
6. If you find the above too challenging, it is recommended to drink, at least, 1 can of beer or a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage you prefer
7. If, in the case you are unable to drink alcohol or you are a minor, it is recommended to take a sleeping pill or administer a shot of morphine into yourself

 

Thank You! I will be sure to employ ALL of those tactics!