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Found 205 results

  1. Leningrad needs Buff

    So here are some proposed buffs to Leningrad , a really sub par boat -shorter torp reload time -increase the speed.. needs to go faster it's a bit slow -lower concealment -higher HE chance -ap that can pen battleships -longer smoke time -10 km torpedo range -hydroacoustic search -hull heal instead of smoke -more hp
  2. (Disclaimer - this is meant as humor, lets please keep it that way, Please) Attention: Grand Eagle Fleet Commander Dasha Cc: @Radar_X, @Gneisenau013 Subject: The Battle Fleet Commander Dasha, while the mighty Grand Eagle Fleet still fights the lowly, backstabbing Shark Fleet still pulls ahead, While we battle them on all fronts their less than Honorable tactics has seem to keep them ahead during these terrible times. I would suggest deploying all reserve forces from the Reserve Eagle Fleet as soon as possible, I would also suggest (if I maybe so bold), that you would send out a video memo of encouragement to the fleet to continue to help build the Fleet's Morale, during these dark days. Also I would urge all Eagle Fleet Commanders to continue to fight, until the last person, the last shell and the last ship has been spent. We can overcome these dastardly Shark Fleets, as long as we fight with the honor that all Eagles have! Sincerely, Lieutenant Commander Chaos_EN2 - Eagle Fleet Buckeye GO EAGLES!!! (Disclaimer - this is meant as humor, lets please keep it that way, Please)
  3. Those Were The Days!

    When people gave you amazing Xmas presents. When the Cleveland was still tier VI, was still awesome, and the terror of the CV. When USN CVs still had AA load-outs. When you could blow up a full-health BB with a single shell from a DD. When you could get a Clear Sky award.
  4. North Caroline

    North Caroline A parody of "Sweet Child 'O Mine" Just a model ship in a game And to say I love her might sound lame But everything Was once fresh as the bright blue sky Now I'm old and stuck in this place But I was once young and I ran the race Though if I think too long I'd probably break down and cry Oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh, oh, oh, oh North Caroline I walked her deck; I thought her swell Like those who served her well And when I look into the past I can see her once again Memory reminds me of my younger days Motorcycle I did ride Braving the thunder And the rain But time it passed me by Oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh, oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh, oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh, oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh, oh, oh, oh North Caroline Oh yeah yeah Oh oh sweet love of mine Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go? Oh, oh...
  5. The Ultimate Frontier

    (Stars) They don't come easy You know they don't come easy They don't come easy You know they don't come easy Was an easy Op and you used to be on top But right now it don't come easy Don't you go and pout, or leap about You can't always have them easy Get yourself a Div, let's come together A bit of teamwork now It will make it work out better Used to be so fine, I got me some Prem time But you know stars don't come easy This Op used to shine, I played it all the time But now it ain't so easy Teamwork now, is how we make it A win's within our reach If we're good enough to take it Was an easy Op and you used to be on top But right now it don't come easy Don't you go and pout, or leap about You can't always have them easy Teamwork now, is how we make it A win's within our reach If we're good enough to take it Stand up for the test and always do your best Cause you know skill don't come easy This here hope of mine keeps growing all the time If you're good it's easy-peasy
  6. What A Joke!

    Tonto and the Lone Ranger are out riding the range, Tonto suddenly stops, jumps off his horse and puts his ear to the ground for a few seconds. He then looks at the Lone Ranger and says, Kemosabe, Buffalo come. The Lone Ranger looks at Tonto and says, How do you know that? Tonto says, Ear Sticky. Got any good ones?
  7. I'll hang out for the fireworks, they won't notice me in the crowd i'll blend right in. Happy fourth of July from the guys up north
  8. Meme Post

    Pretty straight forward. Post memes. Obviously, they need to be clean enough that the Censors don't go bagonza.
  9. The Cherry Blossom Special

    Look at yonder island Get your butt a-down there fast Hey, look a-yonder island Them Marines ain't gonna last It's the Cherry Blossom Special Marines be under an attack {instrumental} Well, they hopped out on that island Got some sand a-neath their boots But Lordy, Lordy, Lordy Ships started up a-shellin blues We'll find that Cherry Blossom Special And show them ships a thing or two {instrumental} "Say man, when you going back to Florida?" "When am I goin' back to Florida? I don't know, don't reckon I ever will." "Ain't you worried about meeting your end on this island?" "Well, I don't care if I do-die-do-die-do-die-do-die." Hey talk about the Cleveland She's the fastest ship of the line Talk about the Cleveland She's the fastest ship of the line She'll sink that Cherry Blossom Special Rollin' down the seaboard line
  10. Best Proof That...

    Best proof that the Earth is not flat: If it were my cat would have pushed everything off of it by now.
  11. I would love to contribute some humor to the mix so. I am thinking if you guys see any NEWS that is funny, humorous, or down right stupid then this is the place for it. You guys set the moral guidelines. Of course the purpose is to make the Moderators/community laugh, not to ban your post. So let me start with this one I found today. Its probably old news but it gave me a smile, Being a parent is well under rewarded job but when you mess up, well it ends up on the internet. Enjoy ! https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/little-boy-accidentally-wears-salacious-tee-school-moms-apology-goes-viral-234013520.html. CHeers!
  12. You Know I'm a Hacker Boy

    You Know I'm a Hacker Boy A parody of "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" by John Denver Well, life in the basement is boring and slack But ain't much an old hacker boy like me can't hack I never have to rise, I stay here in the sack You know I'm a hacker boy Well I tried working once but it sort-a hurt my arms If my parents don't bug me, I can't really see no harm My days are all filled with an easy, sleepy charm You know I'm a hacker boy Well I got me a hot plate, it works better than a griddle When the sun's comin' up, I'm a-sleepy just a little Why some want to work is a funny, funny riddle You know I'm a hacker boy When the day's all done, my little brother plays with toys I yell at my parents cause he's a makin' too much noise Can't they all see that I'm trying to game with poise? You know I'm a hacker boy If I could use all my skills I could really shame them fools But my parents pay for bandwidth so they make up all the rules So I just fiddle here and there and still think I'm pretty cool You know I'm a hacker boy Well I got me a fine comp, I got it from my grandpa But, drat, he set it up so that I couldn't make no trouble Now Mom's a-sayin' that I better get there on the double Don't they know I'm a hacker boy? {Instrumental} Well I wouldn't lift a finger for no diamonds or no jewels I never want to be one of them workingman fools I think my Dad's a noob 'cause he works with his shop tools But for me, I'm a hacker boy Mom says, "No more comp, kid, cause your drivin' us to scream You ain't got no skills, though you think your mighty keen Son, you got one choice and I'll tell you exactly what I mean You're gonna go work for your grandpa, boy" Well I lived me a hard life and that ain't no spittle But when the morning is here Gram's got cakes on the griddle I learned that life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle And lived the life of a country boy {Instrumental} Well I worked for my grandpa and at first it weren't no fun Cause he put me to farming at the early break of dawn But at the end of the summer, well I guess I'd sorta grown Not so much now a hacker boy Now the years have sort of passed and I have a few degrees And now I'm a workin' for the Feds on a on a cyber-tech team The work's long and hard but I'm livin' up my dream Catchin' me them hacker boys Well I got me a fine wife I got me an ole fiddle When the sun's comin' up I got cakes on the griddle Life ain't nothin' but a funny funny riddle Thank God I'm a country boy
  13. Don't Worry, be "Mousie"

    Don't Worry, be "Mousie" A parody of "Don't Worry, be Happy" by Bobby McFerrin There's a little Mouse, sails boats You should read 'bout everything she's wrote Go scurry, read Mousie If a ship be givin you trouble Go read her tomes now on the double Go scurry, read Mousie Go scurry, read Mousie now (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) go scurry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) read Mousie (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) go scurry, read Mousie (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) go scurry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) read Mousie (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) go scurry, read Mousie You got some time to learn your head? Somebody came and knocked you dead? Then scurry, read Mousie Wargaming says the ship is late It's takin' time to navigate Don't worry, read Mousie Look at me reading Mousie Oh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh don't worry, read Mousie Here, she got them ship's number, when you worry, go see She make you "Mousie", don't worry, be "Mousie" Don't worry, be "Mousie" Ain't got no cash to play in style She's the gal to make you smile Don't worry, read Mousie 'Cause when you hurry you fall down And that will always make you frown So don't worry, read Mousie Don't worry, read Mousie now (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be "Mousie" There's a little Mouse, sails boats You should read 'bout everything she's wrote Like good little children, go scurry, read Mousie Now listen to what she says, in your game expect some trouble When you hurry you make it double Don't worry, be "Mousie", be "Mousie" now (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be "Mousie" Don't worry, don't worry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, don't do it, be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) put a smile in your face (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't bring everybody down like this Don't worry (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) it will soon pass, whatever it is (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) don't worry, be "Mousie" (Ooh, ooh ooh ooh oo-ooh ooh oo-ooh) I'm not worried, I'm "Mousie"
  14. Just Some Old Fashioned Warships

    Having won a permanent Halloween camouflage for the St. Louis, I repurchased it. Just Some Old Fashioned Warships A parody of "An Old Fashioned Love Song" by Three Dog Night Just some old fashioned warships Playing on a tier III map And wrapped around their hulls is a facade Likely dreamt up by some drunken chap You swear you've seen them before As they slowly ramble on No need in calling a "hack" 'Cause they were never really gone Just some old fashioned warships In camo that we won last Halloween Just some old fashioned warships Tooting horns in three part harmony To weave our sails of cloth and listen To the sirens' song when the watch is slow To reminisce on loves long lost with tenderness And feeling that we've come to know You swear you've seen them before As they slowly ramble on and on No need in calling a "hack" 'Cause they were never really gone Just some old fashioned warships Tooting horns in three part harmony Just some old fashioned warships In camo that we won last Halloween Just some old fashioned warships...
  15. The Fight Is So Long

    The Fight Is So Long A parody of "Come a Little Bit Closer" as sung by Jay and the Americans In a little narrow straight Just the other side of an island I was just sitting there reading a book Cause my heal was on cooldown Someone said "come on, let's play" So I started heading their way And I knew, yes I knew, that I shouldn't leave But I heard her say, yeah "Come a little bit closer You're my kind of ship So big and so strong Come a little bit closer I'm all alone and the fight is so long" So we started to dance In the cap, the HE was flying And I just couldn't resist Just a little AP, so exciting Then I heard my teammates say "Vamos, Grosser's on his way" Then I knew, yes I knew I should run But then I heard her say, yeah "Come a little bit closer You're my kind of ship So big and so strong Come a little bit closer I'm all alone and the fight is so long" Then the shelling stopped When I looked the cap "C" was empty Then I heard the other team say "Man, you know you're in trouble plenty" So I dropped a torp spread and ran And took off to join my old friends And as I sailed away I could hear the other team say, yeah "Come a little bit closer You're our kind of ship So lost and so wrong Come a little bit closer You're all alone and the fight is so long"
  16. No More a Corgi

    No More a Corgi A parody of "Sea of Heartbreak" by Don Gibson The premiums in the port Aren't there for me I'm like a lost ship Adrift on the sea The sea of heartbreak Lost love and loneliness Memories of those warships So divine, how I wish They were mine again, my dear I'm on this sea of tears The sea of heartbreak How will the standards do? Oh, what will I now sail? I'm no more a Corgi. Always to sail The sea of heartbreak Lost love and loneliness Memories of those warships So divine, how I wish They were mine again, my dear I'm on this sea of tears The sea of heartbreak Oh, what I'd give to sail them some more Back to the grind that I abhor Oh, come to my rescue Oh, come here to me Take me and keep me Away from the sea The sea of heartbreak Lost love and loneliness Memories of those warships So divine, how I wish They were mine again, my dear I'm on this sea of tears The sea of heartbreak The sea of heartbreak Yeah, the sea of heartbreak Mm, sea of heartbreak
  17. I Hit a Rock!

    I Hit a Rock! A parody of "I Am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel A cruiser's near In a deep and dark cap "C" now I am alone Gazing through the rainstorm, waiting for the torps to show I am spotted so I turn around to go I hit a rock! Stuck on an island! The shells fall My guns are pointing at the island That none may penetrate I have much need of friendship but my friends my cries distain The Reds are laughing and it's causing me such pain I hit a rock! Stuck on an island! Don't talk of "noob" 'Cause I've heard that word before It's sleeping in my memory I won't disturb the slumber of bad play that has died If I had turned right then I never would have cried I hit a rock! Stuck on an island! I pop my smoke A white cloud to protect me I am shielded in my armor Hiding in my room, safe within my womb That is until the radar lights and touches me I hit a rock! Stuck on an island! [Stupid island, take that, boom boom boom] But the rocks feel no pain And the island never dies OK, now for a true story. I was driving a large military vehicle through a desert once when I ran over a small obstacle. My sergeant said "Dammit, specialist, you hit a rock!" I said, "Yeah... with a tank."
  18. Sock it to ya (Operation Aegis)

    Sock it to ya (Operation Aegis) A parody of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen Well I've heard there is a secret base That we must reach to win the race But you don't really care for Warships, do you? Well it goes like this: The north, north east, the convoy guards and the carriers And the final ships are going to Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Well your ship was strong but then you goofed You played it just like a green noob A furry taco's torps they came right to ya As you sat there on your kitchen chair As you munched your scone and ate your pear And from your lips the crumbs dropped to your keyboard Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya But baby I've been here before I've seen this Op, and I've played some more You know, I used to play alone before I knew ya And I've played through lag and won five stars But it's not always a victory march You were too bold, you ship is broken, Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya That you were new, you should have let me know But now your ship it sinks below But now you're gonna blame that on me to, yeah? But I remember when I was a noob And then I watch vids on the YouTube And with every death I learned to Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Baby there is a YouTube But all I've ever learned from noobs Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya And it's not so fly to lose the fight When you're with someone who hasn't seen the light It's a cold and it's a broken Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya Sock it to ya
  19. Hey Mousie!

    Hey Mousie! A parody if "Hey Mickey!" as sung by Tony Basil Oh Mousie, you're so fine You're so fine you blow our mind, hey Mousie, Hey Mousie... Hey Mousie! You've been around the fight and played a little long We think you've got it right and we've said it all along We'll all just say "good fight" so you can lead us home, Mousie 'Cause when you describe a ship, now get it wrong you don't Warships givin' you the WOPs so you can check them out Every night you write up all them tomes, Mousie Oh Mousie, what a pity some don't understand You try to get into their heads and you take them by the hand Oh Mousie, you're so witty, they can't understand It's gals like you Mousie Oh, what you do Mousie, do Mousie Game's 'bout to start, Mousie Hey Mousie! Now when you write up them descriptions all are gonna know Every one, it proves it's best a little more to know There's somethin' we can use, so don't say no, Mousie So come on and say it to us any way you can Any way you wanna write it, we'll read up all we can But if we're on your team, don't leave us in a jam, Mousie Oh Mousie, what a pity some don't understand You try to get into their heads and you take them by the hand Oh Mousie, you're so witty, they can't understand It's gals like you Mousie Oh, what you do Mousie, do Mousie Game's 'bout to start, Mousie Oh Mousie, you're so fine You're so fine you blow our mind, hey Mousie Hey Mousie... Oh Mousie, what a pity some don't understand You try to get into their heads and you take them by the hand Oh Mousie, you're so witty, they can't understand It's gals like you Mousie Oh, what you do Mousie, do Mousie Game's 'bout to start, Mousie And just repeat a bunch of times...
  20. A Warships Rhapsody

    A Warships Rhapsody A parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen Is Warships historical? Or is it fantasy? Sail on a high tide, it's escape from reality Open your eyes, look up and the clouds you'll see I'm just a poor boy, I need a play for free The money's hard to earn, fast to go, [little sigh], little dough It's the way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me Oh no! I just sank again! I'm a noob! What's in my head? Took a torp and now I'm dead Come on! The match had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away [He taunts me] "Wa Wa! Ooh, didn't mean to make you cry" I'll just come back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters Too late, the morning's come Sends shivers down my spine, alarm is ringing all the time Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and go to work Mama, ooh, (any way the wind blows) I don't like this tie I sometimes wish I'd never bought it at all {Short instrumental} I see a little silhouetto of a ship It's too far, it's too far, will it come closer now? My torps armed and sighting, very, very frightening, si (Let em go now), Let em go now (Let em go now), Let em go now, Let em go now, Let em go magnifico [I fall asleep and begin to dream] I'm just a poor worm, nobody loves me He's just a poor worm, in the dirt by a tree In fear for his life from the birds, can't you see? Here they come, gotta go, will you let me go? Earthworm-a! No, we will not let you go (Let him go!) Earthworm-a! We will not let you go (Let him go!) Earthworm-a! We will not let you go (Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Will not let you go (Let me go) Ah No, no, no, no, no, no, no (Oh mamma mia, mamma mia) Mamma mia, let me go Beelzebub has a robin put aside for me, must flee, must flee! [I awaken, still in the match] So you think you can sink me and spit in my eye? So you think you can shoot me and leave me to die? Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby! Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here! {Instrumental} I'm a-playin' Warships, anyone can see I'm a-playin' Warships I'm a-playin' Warships, for free My cat's a-bitin' at my toes...
  21. Cause My Shells Don't Miss

    Cause My Shells Don't Miss A parody of "Sealed With A Kiss" as sung by Brian Hyland Hey, you gotta say goodbye to your team now 'Cause darling I promise you this I'll sink you yet again until you get better Cause my shells don't miss You think that you are safe and all alone now But I've got you targeted, yes I'll sink you every match until you get better Cause my shells don't miss I'll find you in the twilight I'll locate you everywhere You will try to detect me back But you know I won't be there I know you don't want to say goodbye to your team now Knowing the fun you'll miss But you will have to find another match to play now Cause my shells don't miss {Instrumental} Yes, you think that you are safe and alone now But I'll fill the emptiness I'll sink you every match until you get better 'Cause my shells don't miss...
  22. Defense of Naval Station Newport

    Defense of Naval Station Newport A parody of "Sittin' on the [edited] of the Bay" as sung by Otis Redding Sittin' in the mornin' sun I'll be sinkin' when the evenin' come Watching the shells roll in Then I watch 'em come my way again I'm sittin' here in Newport bay Watching the friendlies go away Ooo, I'm just sittin' here in Newport bay Ain't it fine I sent my planes explorin' Headed out 'cross the ocean sea Cause I had something to give, yeah But it look like nothin's gonna come my way So I'm sittin' here in Newport bay Watching the friendlies go away Ooo, I'm just sittin' here in Newport bay Ain't it fine Look like nothing's gonna change Everything still remains the same I can't do what ten people tell me to do So I guess I'll remain the same, yes Sittin' here resting my bones Cause my planes rearm, just leave me alone The squadrons, they soon will roam But now I make this dock my home So I'm sittin' here in Newport bay Watching the friendlies go away Ooo, I'm just sittin' here in Newport bay Ain't it fine
  23. I've Trapped All Over This Land

    Note: This song isn't fiction. I used to be a mammalian taxonomist and a scientific research museum assistant curator. I've Trapped All Over This Land A parody of "I've Trucked All Over This Land" by Bill Fries and Chip Davis Well, I've dug a hole and found a vole 'Neath the Oklahoma sun I've chased the dew and I've caught a shrew In a Colorado run I've seen mice howl and flee the owl At Big Bend, on the Rio Grande I've traveled a lot of this U. S. A. 'Cause I've trapped all over this land Well, I've skinned a skunk and 'twernt even drunk Down close to New Orleans I laid a coyote low in New Mexico Chased rats on the Kansas plains I've been to the end of this land and back With a compass and walking stick in my hands I've passed the tests and got my MS 'Cause I've trapped all over this land Well, I've trapped all over this land From the Platte to the Rio Grande I've led what you might call a lonely life But I've trapped all over this land {Instrumental} I've heard the wail of the red-tail hawk In Northern Mexico I've raced a flood and barely won In the land where Pancho Villa was known I've traveled down the Oregon Trail And camped in a redwood stand I've loved the best and tolerated the rest But I've trapped all over this land I've trapped all over this land From the Platte to the Rio Grande I've skinned and prep'd a whole lot of mice Cause I've trapped all over this land {Instrumental} I've takin' a march and climbed an arch Under a scorching Utah sun I've canoed up in the woods of Maine And there had me some fun In Georgia I thought I did all right For the likes of a wanderin' man I've paid the price of a trappin' life But I've trapped all over this land Well, I've trapped all over this land From the Platte to the Rio Grande I've led what you might call a lonely life But I've trapped all over this land...
  24. Listen to the Rhythm of the Falling Shells A parody of "Rhythm of the Rain" by the Cascades Listen to the rhythm of the falling shells Telling me just what a fool I've been I wish that they would go, release me from this hell And let me live to play again The only cap I took, well they just took away I thought that I had done my part But little did I know that when I left that cap They'd come along and break my heart Reds please tell me now does that seem fair For you to steal my cap away like I don't care? I can't cap another when my team's somewhere far away The only team that I had near has gone away I'm now alone, it ain't so hip Cause little did they know that when they left me here The Reds would try to sink my ship {Instrumental} Reds won't you have mercy and let me go Your blasted HE shells just set my ship aglow They break my modules and peel my paint, don't you know? Listen to the rhythm of the falling shells Telling me just what a fool I've been I wish that they would go, release me from this hell And let me live to play again Oh, listen to the falling shells Pitter patter, pitter patter Oh, oh, listen, listen to the falling shells Pitter patter, pitter patter
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