Excellent idea Femennenly!
I see the earlier entries are very clever, (love the rhymes!!!!), but I want to make sure I’m following your directive:
“I would like to put forth a challenge to the community to poorly describe your favorite ship”
So, in that spirit, (and channeling the great Professional Deceptive Descriptors: Mighty Jingles; Ron Burgundy; and the immortal baseball announcer Harry Caray) here are my submissions:
“Great Odin’s Eyepatch: Look at those silly guns! I mean they really should protrude more!” – Ron Burgundy
“She’s definitely the biggest, bad-est Cruiser in the game!” – Mighty Jingles
“Holy Cow! You know Steve, this ship’s name spelled backwards is Noslen!” – Harry Caray
Disclaimer: all mentions of real or imagined people in this post are purely for fun and do not represent, or attempt to quote, or (re)create the opinions, words, or even the smell of actual or imagined people or personas.