(Is a lil rusty when it comes to proper writing so bear with me please.)
The Bearing Strait Incident
tags: Dark, Kancolle, Abyssals, OCs, Alt Universe
Prologue: Project Nightfall
The year is 2057, six years since the final Abyssal has been slain and peace returns to the planet as the countries of the world slowly recover from the global crisis. One by one things return to normal as the Kanmusu Naval forces slowly retire and fade into legend. However, this war was not without it's dark moments and it is not without precedence some nations resorted to extreme mean to save their homes... save their livelihoods. For 6 years any information about the mysterious Project Nightfall has been scoured and purged from newspapers and other medias but slowly as the shattered internet slowly recovers it becomes harder and harder for the powers in play to keep such sordid information secret and today a retired Kanmusu only going by the name of "Montana" has leaked every shred of information about it, the human experimentation, the butchering and harvesting of Living... if you can call them that, Abyssals. So many gains were made, but at what cost? Project Nightfall was a series of experiments and tests to find out what makes Kanmusus and Abyssals tick, what conditions cause a Kanmusu to turn into an Abyssal, and the most vile, finding ways to incorporate Abyssals traits into the Kanmusu forces to bolster their strengths and resilience. Almost 2000 poor souls were subjected to these horrific tests and only 3 presented the traits the Joint Taskforce was looking for.
Before we get into those three souls that were spared worse or better fates depending whom you ask, We must understand how it all began. You see we frankly don't know when exactly the Abyssals appeared but what we do know that a huge mass of them appeared around the same time as a meteor was confirmed to have struck a cruise liner in the Pacific, as far as we were aware or we thought at first... that there were no survivors but as we found later there were. Something about this event kicked off the chain reaction that lead to the Abyssal crisis and eventually the Abyssal war. What we found out was while can't confirm with one hundred percent accuracy we believe something on this space rock mutated a whole class of bacterium that thrive in the salt waters and this bacterium is found in every tissue sample we had of the Abyssals. Then it gets odd the Kanmusu we took blood samples from had an unknown virus floating in their system, completely ignored by the immune system and yet there are clear mental impacts on those individuals, they call themselves ships of the past and have no memory of their normal human lives before awakening as the current Kanmusu form, even their weapons seem to manifest from out of nowhere during the first awakening though the best guess we have is that it has something to do with reconstructing nanoparticles around the person but some strands of rogue DNA does this is beyond us. What we do know is that their weapon can permanently kill the Abyssals and yet when Kanmusu are killed or sunk they end up returning as Abyssals. Hindsight tells us it should have been obvious but it took us this long just to figure this little bit out. So there it is, an endless fight between virus and bacteria scaled up and using us humans as giant meat puppets... but we did break the stalemate.
Project Nightfall, a nightmare for the subject and a bountiful feast of information for the morally questionable. It's quite horrific frankly once we isolated the bacteria that caused Abyssalification (try saying that five times fast) the first thing we did was inject it into animals just to see what happened and honestly... nothing, HIV all over again whatever this microbe was it only affected humans and of course the moment a human was injected with it the transformation was swift and... violent also men who were infected turned into those... abominations you see the bigger and sentient ones keep around like those I-Class or Ha-class monstrosities. The women and female-ish men were spared that but still being a Ri or Chi class wasn't much better fate but it seems those classes had better luck being restored to their human state once defeated by the hands of a Kanmusu. Though the feminine men or "traps" as they are called in some circles were changed forever though it's not something I'd wish on even my worst enemies. However being female isn't all that bad if I do say so myself but I'm drifting off topic here. When Kanmusu were given injections of the pathogen interesting things happened even by my standards. Full health and happy ones showed absolutely no symptoms and when tested hours later found no trace in their blood but remains of the bacteria in the first urine sample after the test. Kanmusu who weren't so positive and upbeat did have a reaction, Flu like symptoms but again their bodies would destroy the pathogen as the first group. When Kanmusu who were on death's door given the injection the change would happen and... Ever seen what an Ancient DD Princess can do to a room of unarmed scientists behind a blast screen? well even with all the "precautions" they took that subject... Well lets just say that scene would even make someone like me question their sanity... if I had any. Then there is Awakening which is the exact opposite of Abyssalification but there were some subjects that no matter how many inoculations we gave would change. It was about a year before we found out it was a cluster of DNA on the X-chromosome and rarely Y, and everyone given that injection would Awaken if those DNA fragments were present. Yes some men and transgender women could awaken but the process is irreversible so even when now the virus is working their way out of their systems and their memories slowly return... I'd hate to be the government official having to deal with that mess. I'm a scientist I just explain what the heck is going on the aftermath of it all is not my problem. So once we figured out all this we tried different ways to incorporate those desirable Abyssal traits into the Kanmusu and what we quickly learned is that it won't work on those who are already Kanmusus and trying to make the bacteria inert for a sort of vaccine was a lot harder than you would expect since these things were mutating much faster than any pathogen we have come across. Though if you know anything about humanity is if there is a way we find it, and find it we did. The trick to it all was once the bacteria was inert we start the Awakening process and we get lucky we get a Kanmusu with super crazy defense or in my case, superior regeneration, not Deadpool level of regen but still pretty good when staring down 6 or more Abyssals alone. Even with a success like me there were a lot of side effects, most ending in what you expect... But there were 3 that showed no ill effects as far as they knew, Enterprise, Myself, and the one who escaped, Zao. But there were side effects, these much more devious and subtle than the scientists knew. What those effects were, well what fun would that be spoiling it here in the prologue. As we know Zao was from here during the tail end of the war but in a base siege off the cost of Sidney ended up in a parallel word that was 20 years behind us. Unlike me her story is so much more interesting unless you wanna hear about the time accidentally leveled a Naval port because of a clerical error. Trust me its more interesting. I do hope so anyway.
So... The convention has been good minus a few hiccups I'll post pics on my Facebook account eventually anyway since mom and I are taking today off to recover I'd like to take today to just get some thoughts off my chest. The big one, the one I tend to deal with the most, depression.
Depression is one of those chronic diseases that has a million different symptoms and affects people differently and the best way I can describe how it affects me... Is a little bit of storytelling and a preface of the one thing that scares me more than those horrid thoughts... which is silence... silence of people silence of the environment, just not hearing things even something as mundane as birds chirping or bugs buzzing or even the gentle hum of my PC on sleep mode at night scares me and sends my imagination into complete and chaotic overdrive. It's probably why music listening is like a crutch to me and I circle back to constantly when things out of control for me. Most people get annoyed when a song gets stuck in their head but for me... I like it because it gives me reprieve from potentially worse thoughts.
As for my depression... It's like being on a pier, surrounded by an endless sea. The ever changing waters and tides the entire spectrum of my thoughts and emotions, good and ill. For me I am just this girl, alone on this pier with her fishing rod, just fishing this sea for thoughts, for ideas, because thinking about things is better than not even with the risk of bringing up something horrid. A lot of the stories I write, I discuss, I talk about are all based on experiences of my past, some exaggerated, some muted, others altered but the act of fishing, the act of thinking keeps away the silence. Some days I fish up nothing interesting, maybe a bad joke I recalled from somewhere when I was younger, maybe some puns I heard from elsewhere, or some old experience that would make great foundation for a new character in a story... Other times... What I fish up... fights back... things that don't want to be recalled things that I don't want to remember... Trauma from middle school, abuse... Many times I can fight them right back but...
I get pulled into the water... It feels like I'm drowning because I don't just deal with that memory, no, I deal with all of them, at once and the outcomes they have cause, could have caused, how I could have prevented them, just flood into me as I sink deeper and deeper. A lot of times this happens when something bad happens in the real word, sometimes by my own hand accidentally, other by the actions of other people. It's at the worst when it happens in the day, It... feels like being in a nightmare but in the in broad daylight, awake and aware but... drowning mentally. Best way I can describe this is when someone cuts me off while driving just barely missing me, I start thinking about how lucky I am, and what could have happened if they actually hit me, then how that impact would have rocked my car, how I could have... and these thoughts repeat over and over and over, my hands tremble and depending how badly it was... I break down... But... despite this... I always somehow make it back onto the pier in my mind... mostly of because of a few people and the most important person in my life... This person always appears as an angel to me, blinding light and hand outstretched and pulls me out of this sea of darkness. Caressing me, holding me, telling me how much they love me, how much... They cherish me, they... stay with me on this pier till they fade back into the aether and I am alone once more... The only reason I've managed this long without medicine is because there are literally too many people that miss me if I passed away... If I succumbed to this darkness residing inside my own mind. No matter how many times I break down... I sink... someone always save me... I wish I could thank them all. Wish I could tell them all how much they mean to me, wish... I could just somehow show them the impact they have no matter how mundane or small it sounds... It's... Kinda why I always buy gifts for people I cherish if I can... I feel like nothing I do could be ever be enough for all the saving they do.
*chuckles quietly, wiping some tears from her eyes.*
Even writing this is tough on me... But I feel like it needed to be said. It's why I have this boom/burst kinda habit when it comes to gaming. Some days I can play for hours and hours and hours and others I'll... go completely off the grid... I don't mean to.. I just kinda... happens... and it's kinda what happens when there are alot of testing that needs to be done for WGing, some months I can do every classified task I can and then some... others... I have to ask them to keep me active while I struggle with these beasts inside my own personal...
It doesn't help when I have a hard limit of 10 PM EST during the week and I've been working 4, 5, 6, 7... 8 days in a row often time not even getting home to like... 9... 9:30 PM which means I get like... one, maybe two games in before I gotta turn off the rig for the evening... It... is one of the few things I miss from my abusive previous job... I would always be either off or 9:50 AM to 5 PM with the single exception being the super bowl. so I would have hours to unwind and bang out whatever task was given to me. Now It's always a craps-shot what time I'll get out every week different every schedule different from the week before... It's hard to plan out things when you'll never know what your next day off is... Plus there are... other things I wanna do too... I feel like I'm the worst tester WG has in their employ...
If any of you are reading this. I am sorry. I really really am. I know it doesn't mean much... but I do try to make it to the focus sessions and stuff that I can't talk about here...
I know I need professional help. I know I do. Depression meds are expensive and my insurance status is in limbo atm till Dec 1st...
I'm so tired of feeling like this... Just... don't leave me here alone.. please.. and if my love reads this... I hope they understand why I get scared when they're silent... and I know continuous talking can grate on you... it's... a coping mechanism and I hope you can forgive me...
Please... forgive me...
Bah! Fell asleep early and woke up now and its only 11:30PM
and we're out of sleep aids in the medicine cabinet. oh joy this is gonna be a fun night trying to go back to sleep. =.=
well at least I get to ponder a bit. whether or not I should cover my coworker's 2-7 shift tomorrow, on one hand more money for the flex pipe job, on the other hand I could do some work on my car... oh who am I kidding I'm not bold enough to do light body work by myself, my problem is just taking the first step alone like if I had my brother or a friend join me in sanding and stuff and just get a feel for doing it I'm sure I'd be fine doing the rest by myself especially if father approves of the job I did but it's that first step. once you sand there is no going back till you are ready to prime and stuff... I mean my car is worthless from an outside prospective but I've had her for over 4 years she means a lot to me plus I wanna take care of her since in those 4 years she not even at 100k miles yet and I would like to atleast get another 100k more out of her.
This has always been a problem of mine, just thinking and thinking and overthinking, who knows why I'm like this but it's hard to just... Dive into a project even something so simple as rust repair it's not like I'm replacing a head gasket or installing a woofer and amp by myself. who knows how many weeks I'm gonna have till the winter road salts start appearing on the roads once more. I need to get these spots covered especially the small ones near my wheel wells. Plus... It's... more fun doing car stuff with friends I feel less noobish when I have someone equally green helping me. I'd ask father but he has a bad habit of doing things for me rather than doing things with me... Plus our schedules don't even mesh anymore, he's off weekends I work weekends...
kinda wish my friends here lived close to me... sorry for rambling... Also go watch "That time I got reincarnated as a slime." it's really really really good so far. Episodes need to come faster T.T
well you've kind of got something working for you there
once you commit you've gotta go through with it
surprisingly I could probably do something complicated despite having limited knowledge on it
I have already experienced it first hand and the ability definitely comes in handy when im in a pinch
I would ask what your surprising ability is but i'm gonna be respectful and let you keep your privacy
maybe this will cheer you up a little:
I don't know how much more I can keep doing Evenings at this job. I may have hated, no, despised working the store near my home, but my schedule was always the same Open (10 AM) to 5 PM. Always... barring Superbowl then its till end of half time... but this current store. Sure the zone is so much nicer, the customers a lot more grateful and kind but I just can't go from 3 PM to 8 PM to a 3 PM to 9+PM to a 2 PM to 9+PM then Open to 6 the next two days. Also I feel like the Whatever hour+ is such a cop-out to the schedule If you want to 9 then have it to 9, if you want me to 8 or 10 then put it as such, I get it that because how erratic the night customer orders are you don't feel confident in giving a set in stone time but then why not use Rush like the former boss (and my best friend of 27 years) was using. And I just love it when they say some people do close open shifts so why am I complaining. Well good for you that you can function on less than 6 hours of sleep I can't I struggle just getting 8 hours of sleep as it is and you give these may 9 may not shifts it drives me nuts and it severely cuts into what little time I get with Captain-sama. Being in different time zones sucks, being in different countries suck. Being saddled with so much debt sucks so much. It's... so easy to understand why some people crack and end it all... I feel it myself. There isn't much out there for a broken mildly autistic girl who can't stand on her feet for more than 30-60 minutes, deliveries is something I'm good at, something I don't need to talk often on the phone, I don't need to be on my feet for hours and hours and hours *coughshopriteishellcough* Tips are nice... I just wish... I could do something like that and be paid a livable wage... I mean there is Door Dash supposively is pretty decent but according to my brother who does it part time its commission based you basically start getting literally a dollar a successful delivery and tips and as you work faster and get good reviews your base commission and tips go up but... That... just... seems so dodgy to me...
idk what to do anymore... I just... want time... with Captain-sama...
I... just.. want to be free...
Comic Con is tomorrow, I should be happy... but I feel so depressed... It will be the first time I'm going alone... I mean my mom is joining me for her first time at this con but I've always gone with friends, coworkers, boy/girlfriends but this year all my friends are...
Twin are trapped in south carolina, Wa... full time teacher, Kiara... has gone off the grid since the summer. Captain-sama...
I'm... also scared I'll run into my ex.. things... did not end on good terms... Idk why I'm posting this here, maybe because I don't want him to see it or at least here I'm a nobody, maybe a handful of people actually interact with me but I'm just some supertester who does what she can to keep her head above the ever rising tides..
I wish Captain-sama could be with me...
I wish... I wasn't so poor..
*Zao is asleep on her bed, smiling. Her data bands active and the coms tab illuminated with a single active contact.* Zao... happy... Captain-sama is... back... Zzz Wub... Zzz Captain-sama... Zzz
> Camera feed successfully hacked. We are beyond the firewall and the Model is not aware of the breach.
>> How long do we have?
> Not long, a few minutes. Tops
>> It will do Ibuki, Now lets see what Zao has been doing since she locked herself in that room.
> Very well, let it be on this record that Ibuki does does not agree with spying on her Model... However her Isolation is unusual and this AI's red flag protocol has been initiated.
* The room is in disarray. The once neat and folded bed sheets and covers strewn haphazardly on and around the bed, clothes and outfits scattered across the room. Zao herself... She is on top of her bed, curled up in a ball clutching a framed picture.*
>> What... is she holding onto?
* It's an Older Picture, a photo of her and the captain, looks like some kind of party off-ship.*
>> Why would she be doing that. The captain is fine... well last we checked right?\
> Affirmative. The odds are that the captain is-
>> Why is she freaking out, can you zoom in on that data band, that one, right there, I think... it's the comms tab she always has open
*the camera swivels around and zooms in on the panel on her data band, it has the captain's signature on it, and it's offline, the date... over 3 days ago.*
>> Well now I get it.
> This AI doesn't, elaborate, please.
>> The captain has been on stuck on the base for months, but Zao and the captain kept in daily contact and now... the abrupt deployment, and lack of contact...
> The deployment means no internet. But why is our Model deteriorating like this?
>> Because Ibuki... Zao... Has been through a lot. like... a lot a lot. This dimension never had the Terminus War, the horrors, the deaths... the experimentation, It damaged her... not physically but left a sort of a emotional scar and the Captain was a stabilizing factor. An amazing stabilizing factor, I've been with her for years but when she met... she smiled, for the first time in a long time, and now without the contact she is drawing up every possible scenario she can conceive in the absence. From the ship sinking to a local killing-
*a loud crunch sound occurs and the feed turns to static.*
>> ... Bloody hell! Ibuki encrypt the breach so she can't trace it back to us. And make it snappy!
> Right away.
Kako-sama... please... be safe...
> C:// Run Zao_Diary.exe
> Authentication Required
> Credentials Accepted
> Zao_Diary:// Add New_Page
> Command Accepted
--- Morale is low. For the most advanced cruiser the fleet has ever created this model doesn't feel like it...
--- What is Feeling? This model has done countless scans, numerous diagnostics and this model cannot find a resolution to this apathy, this... lethargy she is experiencing.
--- What has changed? This model wasn't always like this, drifting in the middle of the Hudson Bay, staring at the clouds, wondering what her purpose was. She used to be
--- Happy.. Carefree even... She was content being an escort, protecting human transports from rogue FOG vessels still disillusioned by the defunct Admiralty Code. The War
--- Was over... Is over but the fighting never ends. This model thinks, recalls, the last time she felt... happy... It as April, this model was stationed in Melbourne, in Australia
--- Escort duties once more but their government required mental models to have at least one human crew member to conduct military operations in their waters, This Model
--- Was assigned a captain, a human who's -error code 33- someone this model... I... Grew close to. The patrols and escorts were uneventful but the captain made them...
--- Enjoyable... -error code 407- days passed. We... really enjoyed each other's company. It was the closest this mod- I felt... human... -error code 33- didn't see me as a robot
--- A machine, I was just someone -critical error-
--- Loved. I was... I am loved... but I feel empty being so far away.
--- I want to go back... I need to go back... I don't want to be -critical error-
--- Please... Find me... I need -Fatal Error-
> Compiler found errors. Continue anyway? (Y/N)
> Zao_Diary.exe:// Page_1562 Successfully created
I was never commander material... Specter fleet needs to cut its dead weight, which includes me. I wish you the world Harby, hopefully you can do what I couldn't.
please forgive me, I just... wasn't strong enough...
Haven't done these in a while, but as some know I did visit Kako aka Rolkatsuki in Australia back in the first week of April.
It was amazing, it was the first time I ever left the US, and honestly... I really miss it... I'm sure there are just as many things wrong with it as America but... When I was with Kako for those 6 days I felt for the first time in a really, really long time that... I was home, and I was safe...
I... want to go back...
it sucks being so far away...
Happy Anniversary Kako-sama!
We had lots of ups and downs last year, and I'm sure we will have just as many this year, but I can't wait to continue to experience it all with such an amazing soul as you!
I love you with all my heart,