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The Dad Joke Thread (Warning: Cringe)


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Rion12 #1 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:29 PM

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Behold, a thread for the groan-inducing bad jokes and puns. Because reasons. Feel free to contribute, for we must have maximum cringe.

 

 

Judging by the discount on the Kirov I picked up yesterday, I can only guess that cruisers were on sail this past weekend.

 

Had to go to the doctor's yesterday, and it was quite the wait. But that's fine. I'm patient.


Edited by Rion12, 20 March 2017 - 03:31 PM.

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ValkyrWarframe #2 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:31 PM

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When a Pensacola gets nuked, he needs Pensa-cillin.

 

I dare someone beat that terrible joke.


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RivertheRoyal #3 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:38 PM

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View PostValkyrWarframe, on 20 March 2017 - 10:31 AM, said:

When a Pensacola gets nuked, he needs Pensa-cillin.

 

I dare someone beat that terrible joke.

 

There's a paddle sale right now in a local boating store.

 

It's quite an oar-deal.  


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The_first_harbinger #4 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:38 PM

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Why don't you set that battleship on fire?

Because I'm a HipperHipster.


Edited by The_first_harbinger, 20 March 2017 - 03:44 PM.

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RedSeaBear #5 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:40 PM

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I want to die like my like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep.

Not like my grandfathers passengers, screaming in terror. 

 

And don't worry about the fires, the flooding will put them out. 


Edited by RedSeaBear, 20 March 2017 - 03:41 PM.

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Rion12 #6 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:40 PM

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I went fishing the other day. The ease with which I could bring the hook back to shore had me reeling.

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SireneRacker #7 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:44 PM

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Playing this game usually gives me a flood of emotions.

 

German jokes special

 


 

Torpedoes don`t have any friends. So they will kill everything in their path. To prevent team kills we should all watch out where we fire those fishes. That means each and everyone of us, DDs of the second line!

 

No my name does NOT refer to those things from Odysseus! They refer to the those loud things attached to a fire truck. Not to beautiful girls singing on the Ocean.


Doomlock #8 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:44 PM

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Have you heard of the famous avian actor? Steven Seagull?

Fair winds and following seas! -Doomlock

Hit hard, hit fast, hit often! -Fleet Admiral William "Bull" Halsey.

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LegoGenius16 #9 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:49 PM

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I took out my Graf Spee the other day. 

 

It was a pure killing spee.

 

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#Detonate Jingles


Doomlock #10 Posted 20 March 2017 - 03:57 PM

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I took out my T8 the other day, she was a NO show.

Fair winds and following seas! -Doomlock

Hit hard, hit fast, hit often! -Fleet Admiral William "Bull" Halsey.

Current ships: IJN: MikasaTachibanaIshizuchi, Yūbari, Kamikaze R, AobaNagato, Akatsuki, Shiratsuyu, Atago, ZaōUSN: Texas, Arizona, Cleveland, Farragut, Indianapolis, Sims. VMF:  Aurora, Gremyashchy, Budyonny, Molotov, Gnevny, Mikhail Kutuzov, Ognevoi.  RN: Caledon, Leander, Belfast. KM: Emden, V-25, Königsberg, Nürnberg, Scharnhorst, Gneisenau, Prinz EugenFleet of Fog: Kongō, Hiei, Haruna, Kirishima, Myōkō, Haguro, Nachi, Ashigara, Takao. MW: Błyskawica.  CW: Perth. 

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Ed_the_Baker #11 Posted 20 March 2017 - 04:00 PM

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a fish swimming along, hit a concrete wall, "dam" he said...

Yoshiblue #12 Posted 20 March 2017 - 04:19 PM

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All I came up with was this. 

Some people just have a bad case of war-spite. You see in campbeltown, there are some people who really like to ring about the bel-fast because they think it will create a perfect earth; or a Perth. 

 

What did the Caledon say when he got back to port.
"Cale done!"  



AVR_Project #13 Posted 20 March 2017 - 04:42 PM

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How about a Russian joke.

Berengian (inuit) is fishing along the Bering Straits.

American Submarine pops up.  Captain pokes his head out of the conning tower.  Asks, "Which way is Anchorage?".

Berengian points his finger.  American captain shouts down, "Set course 84, ahead full"...  disappears beneath the sea.

Few minutes later, Russian submarine surfaces.  Russian captain shouts out to the Beringian, "Which way did that American Submarine go?

Beringian says, "Course 84".  Russian captain yells, "Just point your finger, smart a$$ !!!"


 


So much has been lost, so much forgotten. So much pain, so much blood. And for what? I wonder. The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us. And our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast, terrible in-between. But there is still time to seize that one last, fragile moment. To choose something better, to make a difference.  -- Babylon 5


khaenn35 #14 Posted 20 March 2017 - 04:53 PM

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"I was simply following orders, sir, I knew we were going to crash into the docks if we did so but I followed my orders sir. Hard to port, the cap'n said."

Edited by khaenn35, 20 March 2017 - 04:53 PM.

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FCA_Wichita #15 Posted 20 March 2017 - 05:08 PM

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"I'll get you my pretty, and your little destroyer too!"

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tcbaker777 #16 Posted 20 March 2017 - 05:48 PM

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*hits toe on the corner of a wall* YAAAAAA MAAAAAA TOOOOOOOOO

Image result for walking from explosion gif 

top it

Image result for bring it on meme gif


Edited by tcbaker777, 20 March 2017 - 05:49 PM.

" Older men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die" - Herbert Hoover 

"War never ends, it only rests"

"I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its stupidity" - Dwight D. Eisenhower 

 

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dem0lsh0r #17 Posted 20 March 2017 - 06:09 PM

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I fired a few rounds from my Atlanta a few games ago. They should be here any minute.


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Rion12 #18 Posted 20 March 2017 - 07:09 PM

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I've recently learned what the guys at the dock tend to drink. Turns out it's port wine.

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SireneRacker #19 Posted 20 March 2017 - 07:32 PM

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When two Atlanta-class Cruisers pin you down and set you on fire over and over again, this is called a Flint-Lock.

 

Moving with your smokescreen must be Perth-ect.

 

How is Obi-Wan-Kenobi's son called? Ben-son

 

How does Princess Leia call her husband to dinner? "May Han please come to the table?"


Edited by SireneRacker, 20 March 2017 - 07:38 PM.

 

Torpedoes don`t have any friends. So they will kill everything in their path. To prevent team kills we should all watch out where we fire those fishes. That means each and everyone of us, DDs of the second line!

 

No my name does NOT refer to those things from Odysseus! They refer to the those loud things attached to a fire truck. Not to beautiful girls singing on the Ocean.


Irishwind #20 Posted 20 March 2017 - 11:01 PM

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